Atropa Belladonna~ Raven (a.k.a. Nightshade)'s Weblog ~
These are the ARCHIVES of February 2004. For more archives, visit the Archives page. For the current Weblog entries, check the Main page.
Atropa BelladonnaThurs, Feb 26, 2004 (late entry - posted on Sat, Feb 28, '04 at 5:05pm) Danyel Jasen Brown Born February 26, 2004, at 5:31 pm 7 pounds, 12 ounces of screaming agony. (By far, the easiest delivery yet) After all my fears and apprehensions about the induction, my biggest complaint about the procedure was boredom. Shades and I arrived at the hospital around 9am, and they decided the baby was sitting too high in the pelvis for them to just break my waters, like I'd hoped we could do. I was put on the Pitocin drip at its lowest setting. They increased the setting every interval they were allowed to, and by 4pm I was on the highest setting which could be given without specific doctor's orders. In that SEVEN HOURS, I had managed to dilate a total of ONE CENTIMETER. The contractions were noticable, but not unbearable. In fact, I'd been having stronger Braxton-Hicks contractions than these. Most of that 7 hours was spent reading a book, and/or pacing the halls. I might have said "Ouch" once during a contraction, and that was only if the baby happened to kick me at the same time. Just after 4pm, my Doctor came to see how I was doing, and the nurses asked if they could have permission to go to a more agressive drip rate. The doctor suggested we just break my waters, and see if that helped. The baby's head had come down a little with all that walking. So, they ruptured the amniotic sac. Once the baby's comfy waterbed was gone, it engaged firmly in the pelvis, and started causing real pain. They turned the IV drip down to half of what it had been, and let nature take its course. An hour later, I was at 9 1/2 centimeters dilated, and was wanting to push. This was the really painful part. But then, it always is. So I pushed, and whimpered, and breathed, and whimpered some more, and might have called Shades a couple of names - I can't remember - and eventually we got the head out. There was some minor problem with the shoulders, but I'm not sure if it was actual shoulder dystocia this time, or whether it was due to the baby's positioning. Either way, it didn't slither out after the head appeared, like it was supposed to. So I pushed some more... and it only took a couple of really good pushes to get the tricky bits out. Then, they were dropping a slimy baby boy on my belly. A baby boy!!! HAH, I say to all those people who told me it'd be a girl! I believe my first words after the birth were, "I WIN! It's a BOY! I WIN!" Hey, ya take your victories where you can get 'em, okay? Thank you to everyone who called, emailed, visited, or otherwise expressed an interest in my (our) well-being. Sorry I couldn't make it to BP's in the evening - I'll see all you guys there next week. Accomplishment of the Day: Finished reading Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin. Oh, yeah - and gave birth.
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| Wed, Feb 25, 2004 (8:50pm) Thought an awful lot about inductions, over the course of the day. Talked to my Mom on the phone for half an hour about it. Star came over and made French Toast for breakfast (she's so good to me) and we hung out and shopped, and I used her as a sounding board for some of my fears and apprehensions. By mid-afternoon, I hadn't come to any solid conclusions, except that I really didn't want to go into the induction tomorrow as anxious as I was feeling. Anxiety, for the record, is very bad for labor - it increases muscle tension, increases pain perception, decreases coping ability, and can keep the body from producing effective contractions. All bad stuff, neh? So I called my Mom and asked if she would come by to watch the kids for an hour, to let me go down to my Dr's office and talk with him. We talked. I told him the reasons why I was getting cold feet about this. I asked him about other options. We discussed some possibilities. He told me one thing they hadn't told me at the hospital on Monday: The Ultrasound showed that the baby's umbilical cord is wrapped around its neck. This, in and of itself, is not a critical thing... it happens more often than many people realize... but when it happens in a baby which is overdue, there is more reason to worry. The more overdue a baby gets, the less room there is to manoeuver, and the more chance that a wrapped cord will become a problem. Also, when a baby goes overdue, there is less amniotic fluid to cushion it during contractions, and the increased pressure on the cord could cause less oxygen to flow to the baby. My Ultrasound showed the fluid levels were okay at the time, but without regular check-ups, they don't know if it'll stay that way. They'd rather get the baby out sooner than later. That, to me, is ample reason for an induction. The doctor also did another internal on me, and said that they might be able to just rupture my membranes tomorrow, without needing to put me on the Pitocin drip. If I go into spontaneous labour with the rupture of my membranes, that's a lot better than needing to be hooked up to an IV and continuous monitoring. He stripped the membranes during the internal exam, and we're hoping that by morning, I'll have dilated a little more to make membrane rupture a better possibility. Well, that's it in a nutshell. Gonna go to bed early tonight. I'll miss the Thursday crowd at BP's. Hope ya all have a good evening, tomorrow. |
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| Wed, Feb 25, 2004 (9:20am) Getting the heebie-jeebies about induction. Hee's some articles to read, if you want to know why:
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| Wed, Feb 25, 2004 (8:20am) This makes 8 days overdue. Less than 24 hours before I have to go in for an induction. That's not much time for the baby to make a spontaneous appearance. I suspect, somewhere deep inside me, that this kid actually wants to be born on Feb 29th. It wants to be a leap-year baby. But alas, it won't get the chance, 'cuz the doctors (and me) want it out before then, so it doesn't risk getting stuck, and becoming an early March fatality or anything unpleasant like that. Can ya blame us? Well, I might as well get as much done today as I can. Tomorrow looks to be a busy day.
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| Tues, Feb 24, 2004 (3:20pm) So, here's the bits I didn't write yesterday, on the results of the induction consultation. I was offered an induction. I declined. The doctor(s) suggested that we not let this pregnancy go beyond 10 days overdue, because of the problem with pregnancy #2. After running some tests (for which the baby wouldn't hold still, so they're not sure if the ultrasound's reading of a 7pound,13ounce baby in me is very accurate) they proposed an induction before the weekend, if I haven't gone into labour naturally by then. I consented. A scheduled induction is being booked for Thursday... assuming I haven't had the baby by that point, which I really, really hope I do. I feel a bit sad about this. I still don't want an induction, and wonder if putting it off is simply an avoidance tactic, or if it's what's best for my body, and the baby. Probably the latter, because the closer I am to giving birth naturally (even if it's only giving my body 2 or 3 more days) the more prepared the body is for going into labour, and the better I should tolerate it. I don't feel very tolerant, though. |
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| Tues, Feb 24, 2004 (10:40am) Seventh Sea was good last night. Seeing friends was good. Not being killed by Firbolgs was good. Having contractions every 4 - 8 minutes was promising, even when they weren't very strong. Having very strong contractions later was promising, even if they were 10-20 mins apart. But by the time gamers left around midnight, they still hadn't turned into anything real. I stayed up a little while anyways, hoping. This meant I was awake to deal with Connor (who is sick again) and my daughter (who is either sick again, or still sick. Maybe both). She was up 5 times between midnight and 2:30am, feeling miserable. I gave her love, and Tylenol, and nebulizer treatment, and more love, and comfort, and more love. She basically just cried, and vomitted, and cried some more, and wheezed, and cried, and coughed, and cried, and wheezed, and whimpered. I did what I could, but after last night's lack of sleep I was beginning to fall apart at the seams. I went to bed. I didn't get any rest, though. Shades and I shared sick-child-duties between us for another 2 hours as Kalen refused to settle or stay in her bed. And I continued to have contractions. Contractions continued straight through the night, alternating between strong and frequent, but never both, until after 4:30am, when I fell asleep exhausted. I was up with sick kids again by 8am. Still having contractions, but neither strong nor frequent. Sick-kids, however, are both frequent AND strongly irritating. And my pelvis feels like it's beel pulled apart by the night of contractions. AND I'm sick, too. And tired. But the cavalry just got here. Grandma is gonna watch her sick Grandkids, and let me go back to bed. I can't handle this on 3 1/2 hours of sleep. i want to go into labour just so I have an excuse to get out of the house, and be away from the sick kids, and the piles of laundry thrown into the bathtub, and the screaming and whining and.... (whimper)
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| Mon, Feb 23, 2004 (5:55pm) Number of emails in my inbox this morning: 243. Number of emails currently sitting in my inbox: 116. At least I did something productive this afternoon. Looking forward to Seventh Sea gaming tonight. Perhaps I'll go into labour while gaming, like Myke did. Of course, I've been hoping that for the last 3 Mondays, and nothing came of it. But at least I'm having contractions off and on right now. That's promising. And hey, wouldn't it be bloody ironic to go into labour tonight? (Hey, baby! Are you listening! Poke, poke! It'd be ironic if I went into labour tonight! That's your cue!) Sigh. |
| Mon, Feb 23, 2004 (11:50am) Back from the hospital. No induction. No baby yet. |
| Mon, Feb 23, 2004 (1:15am) So, it's officially Monday now. I'm going to bed soon, and when I get up in the morning (assuming I haven't gone into labour overnight) I'll be heading off to the hospital for tests and possible induction. I may have a baby before the day is out. Or I may not. I've been thinking about it more and more. I don't want an induction. Please note: this is very different from saying I don't want to give birth. I DO want to give birth. I want this baby OUT. I just don't want to have to be hooked up to an IV and have chemicals and hormones pumped into my body in order to achieve that end. I have a very healthy respect for, and faith in, the body's ability to regulate itself and its functions for the most beneficial outcome. Sure, sometimes medical intervention is necessary, but childbirth is a natural process and unless there's a really strong reason for messing with mother nature, it's best to leave well enough alone. I think that if the tests show the baby is doing well inside me, and there's no particular worry about its size, I'll decline an induction if it's offered. And it might not be offered, either - that really depends on the opinions of the obstetrician on call, and my doctor. Some OB/GYNs are very willing to do inductions at the drop of a hat, and even encourage them for women who might look like they're going even a few days overdue. Others are against intervention except in emergencies. Some take the pregnant woman's preferences into account, some don't. The fact that I had problems delivering my previous baby because of its size could be considered a strong indication for induction by one doctor, but not by another. My general experience with medical professionals, however, is that they'll take two things into account above all else: (A) are they likely to be sued for malpractice if they do or don't choose a certain path, and (B) is it convenient for them, at the time. Sounds kinda harsh, but in the end, it really does come down to that a lot of the time. To be fair to the doctors, I suppose I could say that what it boils down to, is: Is it Safe, and Is it Practical? The answer is often ambiguous, though. For example... if the Ultrasound shows that the baby inside me is approximately 7 pounds and doing well, it ought to be safe to let my pregnancy continue until I go into labour naturally. But if the baby weighs in at 8 pounds (which is what Connor did) then I might have the same problems delivering the baby that I did with my last one: that the shoulders are too wide to comfortably fit through my pelvis. But that's only a maybe... an 8 pound baby could be long and skinny, and no problem to deliver. Or it could be so broad shouldered that it needs to be delivered by C-section. You can't really tell from the Ultrasound. You can only guess. Most doctors will err on the side of caution, though. Then comes the question of convenience. Is there an open hospital bed on the delivery ward? You can't just send someone for an induction if all the beds are full. And is there enough staff? And does the doctor want to wait around to monitor the progress of the induction, as is necessary, in order to adjust the level of hormones being given by IV, and check on how well the woman is dilating, and whether the baby is handling the whole procedure well... because if things go wrong, and the baby begins to suffer from a long labour (inductions usually take much longer than spontaneous labour does) then they might end up having to do an Emergency C-section. And that raises another set of questions: Do they have an operating room free? Are there beds on the post-partum ward for the woman to stay for several days if she gets cut open (you can't just send a woman home after a Caesarean like you can after a normal vaginal delivery). All this is moot if it's an actual Emergeny... they make the room. But for those situations when they think, "It may or may not be necessary", they'd usually rather keep those beds and operating rooms open on the chance that a real Emergency does come up. But here's the thing: I'm going in on a Monday morning. That's the hospital's favorite day to schedule inductions, because they're (usually) fully staffed and fresh after the weekend. If they think an induction may be necessary, they'd rather do it early in the week, when they have the beds and the staff, instead of waiting for it to potentially become an emergency, later i nthe week. Just like doctors prefer to have babies born during the daytime than the nighttime... if they can swing things so they get home in time for supper after putting in a good day at the hospital, then they are more likely to be in favor of the idea. I really don't know what I'm going to be facing when I get to the hospital tomorrow. I'm kinda scared that it'll come down to the question of, "Do I want to push for an induction?" And if the choice is left up to me, will I cave in and beg to have this baby OUT at the cost of whatever medical intervention becomes necessary? Do I really want the baby at the cost of a long labour and a lot of pain? Do I really want to carry this kid in me for another WEEK if I refuse the induction and then fail to go into labour naturally before the next Monday rolls around? Can Shades stand another week of me moping around the house, bemoaning my gravid state? Will my weblog readers go insane listening to day after day of incessant bitching? I really hope I go into labour overnight, so I don't have to think about those questions in the morning. Well, we'll see what tomorrow brings. If I don't post in the morning, don't be surprised - I've gotta be out of the house by 7:30am. Hmm.. which means I ought to get myself off to bed, now. |
| Sun, Feb 22, 2004 (7:55am) 5 Days past Due. This sucks. Today, by the way, is our Anniversary. Shades and I have been bound with fetters of gold for 7 years. Wow - makes me feel old. I am pleased to say, though, that I've noticed no 'Seven Year Itch' in our relationship (except perhaps the itching desire to have this parasite out of me.) Then again, the year is young. Who knows what it will bring? Hrm. It had better bring a baby. And soon. I'm freakin' fed up with this. To keep me from rambling obsessively about the lack of impending childbirth in my life, I'll run a special Anniversary feature instead. Without Further ado, we present: Seven Cool Memories of our Married Life, Thus Far
Sigh. Sucks that we won't be going out for our traditional Anniversary dinner tonight, at the Creperie. We've gone every year so far, but this time, I just don't have the stomach for it. Literally. There's so much baby pushing against my internal organs that there's no room for a proper-sized meal inside me. If I eat more than a bowl of cereal at a time, I get heartburn. So, this year we're going to postpone the celebration for a bit. (And that way, when we do go, I'll be able to drink wine with the meal again.) Here's to hoping that's soon...
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| Sat, Feb 21, 2004 (11:40am) Played Catan last night. Didn't win any games, but it was still good to play. Hung out with cool people. Went to bed around 12:30, then got up and read a book 'til 2am. Good thin Shades let me sleep in this morning or I'd be absolutely shot. Last night was the first night since Tues that I didn't take Tylenol before bed to reduce the pain & swelling in my (very) sore throat. I kinda regret that this morning. I'm still not better, and my throat is making me almost as miserable as my belly. Luckily... I can take tylenol this morning for my throat. I wish I could do something about the parasite.
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| Fri, Feb 20, 2004 (11:00am) Mental Randomizer - Status: Re-engaged Cool... birds have finally discovered the birdfeeder on our balcony, which we've had up since early winter. Now there are seeds scattered everywhere. Connor is remarkably cute, sometimes. Almost makes me want to get pregnant again. And then the parasite will kick me, and I'll remember that I am pregnant again, and not enjoying it. Man, my short term memory sucks. My Cichlids are digging up the fishtank gravel again. Silly fish. I have a stitch ripper in my pocket which was left at BP's last night. I think it's Val &/or Ian's. Must remember to give it back to him next week, if I make it to BP's. Anna had a cool quiz on her weblog, so I took it too. Results follow (minus image): You're France! Most people think you're snobby, but it's really just that you're better than everyone else. At least you're more loyal to the real language, the fine arts, and the fine wines than anyone else. You aren't worth beans in a fight, unless you're really short, but you're so good at other things that it usually doesn't matter. Some of your finest works were intended to be short-term projects. Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid Speaking of Anna, there was discussion at BP's last night about the possible development of a 'Capoeira Pill, with Bonus Portuguese!'. All present agreed Anna's weblog entry (the inspiration for this) was terribly amusing. Yay! Anna influences BP's discussion even from outside the country! The Force is strong in this one. Garbage collection day today... I forgot we had a holiday Monday earlier this week, so I collected garbage for pick-up yesterday. This means it's all nicely sitting at the curb already this morning, and I'm free to type on the computer instead of running around emptying household trashcans this morning, like I usually do on garbage day. Yay me. Only 2 1/2 hours to go 'til my Mom comes to watch the kids so I can go for a haircut. I wonder if I can refrain from doing them serious injury for that length of time... Teehee - Connor has grabbed my shirt, stuck his head under it, and - instead of poking my pregnant belly like Kalen does - is tracing the outline of my Raven tattoo, on my shoulder. He's sweet. Okay, I think I won't kill them. I still want a nap. Mental Randomizer - Status: Buffer cleared. |
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| Fri, Feb 20, 2004 (9:50am) Countdown: T plus 3 days. Mental Randomizer - Status: ON Sore throats suck. Luckily, mine is still dazed and confused from the screaming-hot-chicken-wings with extra-hot-sauce treatment it was given last night. It feels swollen but numb this morning. (Meaning it's still painful to cough or swallow or anything which uses throat muscles, but it barely hurts at all if I'm not doing any of those things). Wally left his Fallout and GhostMaster CDs at my place again last night. Oops. I wanna play Catan. This unborn parasite is getting on my nerves. Specifically, on the Sciatic Nerve running along the legs and up through the pelvis. It'll twist its little head, pinch the nerve against the pelvic bones, and cause screaming agony to shoot up and down my leg(s), making it impossible to move or stand or do much but collapse that leg in pain. It's only for a second or two at a time, but it hurts when it happens. It also freaks people out when the pregnant chick suddenly yelps, doubles over, and clutches her belly. I need more Double Spice Chai. Ouch, coughing hurts. BubbleGum Crisis 2040 is amusing. Must remember to thank Davyd for lending the series to me. Kalen is also still sick. Last night she was wheezing slightly, and running a fever. We've got her on nebulizer treatments again to (hopefully) prevent this bug from turning into a lower respiratory tract infection in her. The last thing we need is a hospitalized 3-yr old when we're planning to have a hospitalized Mommy soon. (No - I do not think it would be "convenient" to have Mother and daughter at the same hospital, just a floor apart. I have no intention of nursing a sick toddler back to health while nursing a brand-newborn-babe at the breast and recovering from the rigors of labour at the same time.) Got gamers coming over tonight. I wonder if they will play Catan with me? I wonder if the baby will sending impending gaming tonight and decide to send me into labour? I need a hair cut. Luckily, I have scheduled one for this afternoon. Perhaps the baby will sense impending hair-appointment and choose to send me into labour instead. Either way I win... I get a baby, or a nice haircut. Kalen is surprisingly good about sitting still on the couch for 15 minutes with a ventolin mask on, for her nebulizer treatments. Looking forward to the new Purgatory Chronicle coming up. Mmm... Gaider has interesting plot ideas. I like his games. Lazerus is good to have on the Purgatory staff, too. I want it to start soon. I want a nap. Stupid energy-sucking parasite. Mental Randomizer - Status: Buffer Cleared.
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| Thurs, Feb 19, 2004 (7:15pm) The following is a note to Arthur. No one else has to read it if they don't wanna. I tried your post-comments again today, and it worked. Hm. The last 3 times I tried it (twice to comment on your redesign, once to compliment your good looking roomate) it would accept info in the fields, but when I hit 'post' it just blinked the .php box and didn't seem to accept that I'd written anything at all. Cleared all the fields back to blank, but didn't add my post to the comments. No message as to why, just nothing. Like hitting reset. But if it's working now, don't worry abut it. I'll start commenting again from time to time on your blog. Oh, and telus bounced mail I sent to arthur@tekgallery.net so if you have a different email addy, please send it to me. Otherwise, be aware that your mail is bouncing. S'all. |
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| Thurs, Feb 19, 2004 (12:55pm) arthur has this Public comment: Comments : (Catan link - ed.) figured you'd be interested in this, if you havent already seen it. ---- Thanks for the link Arthur. Not sure if I wanna sell my soul to Microsoft over my Catan addiction, but it's interesting to know what's in the works. BTW - I've tried posting comments on your blog a couple times since the redesign, and it doesn't seem to work for me anymore/again. (I s'pose I coulda just emailed ya about that fact, but I'm feeling too lazy to shut down my blog-post and pull up email.) | ||||||
| Thurs, Feb 19, 2004 (11:30am) Countdown: T plus Two. Double Bah. (Note: The first paragraph following this is safe to read. The rest is depressive drivel. You've been warned.) Last night I ran my Tierel game, and am very pleased with how it went. We had players, and plot, and everything. Sure, we started late (after 9:30pm) and wrapped up early (before midnight) but it was still gaming. The kids stayed (mostly) in bed. There was yummy supper beforehand. I got to do a scene which has been in the works for 2 - 3 weeks, and it went remarkably well. People said they enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. And I only threw things at one person all evening (and he bloody well deserved it). Oooh - I also got to see Bregon's new car. Very nice - very shiny! I am just a little bit jealous. This morning, I feel terrible. The bug which hit me yesterday incubated some more overnight, and has exploded into a downright miserable sore throat: Coughing hurts. Sneezing is agony. Yawning is painful. Eating/swallowing is almost not worth the effort. I think I shall subsist on Tea and Hot Apple Cider today. Oh, and every muscle in my body (including the ones which already felt awful due to pregnancy) hates me. This sucks. It sucks bad enough that I don't want to go into labour today, 'cuz I'm not sure if I could handle it on top of the strain of illness. I know that I thought this all out before getting pregnant again. I know I read thru the prenatal journals I kept with the other two kids. I know Shades reminded me how much I hated the last month of pregnancy and that I didn't want to go through it again - and I decided to get pregnant again anyways. I'm SURE I had reasons for it. But for the life of me, I can't remember any of them right now. Thinking takes too much energy, and remembering hurts muscles that I didn't realize I had. I want to curl up and die. Or at least sleep for three months and wake up after the baby has been born and can sleep through the night.
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| Wed, Feb 18, 2004 (9:10am) Countdown: T plus One Day. Bah. No babies yet. Gonna see if I can go to Star's for breakfast and drown my sorrows in French Toast and maple syrup. (Mmm... sounds sticky.) And on a side note, I seem to have come down with the same bug which laid Shades low over the weekend. Stupid sore throat and swollen lymph nodes and painful swallowing. Bah again.
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| Tues, Feb 17, 2004 (4:30pm) Dr's appointment went well. We discussed NSTs and inductions, and my disinclination to be induced unless really necessary, and have come up with a plan, sort-of. He's gonna book me for an NST/UltraSound for Monday, Feb 23rd. Monday is a good day to do those tests, he says, because if we look at the results and choose to do an induction, we might be able to do it the same day. If not, they've got all of tues/wed/thurs/fri to schedule the induction. This is better than a mid-week NST because the induction will almost never take place the same day, due to the busy hospital schedule... those inductions usually don't happen til after the next weekend (a history of shoulder dystocia (like I've had) might make it go faster, but might not). Then again, if the NST looks good and we decide not to do an induction, we don't have to. So, we're basically putting of the decision for a week. That gives me a week to go into labour naturally. And if I don't, we can probably have the baby out at merely 1 week overdue, instead of 10 - 14 days. Gah... another week. I hope I can stand it that long, if that's what it takes. And if so, I hope you guys can put up with me venting in my weblog for another week. |
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| Tues, Feb 17, 2004 (11:40am) Happy Due Date to me! Happy Due Date to me! Except I don't really feel that happy about it. I feel annoyed. Everyone - my doctor included - was telling me I wouldn't reach my Due Date. I felt like I wouldn't reach my due date. I've been walking around for 2 weeks now feeling like the baby ought to come at any moment, with my joints loose and my muscles strained, and everything in place and ready to go... and STILL I HAVE NO BABY! I know it could still come at any time. Today, even. But having failed to deliver in the last 2 weeks, it feels like the next two won't produce a baby, either. And why should I believe anyone who tells me otherwise? They were all wrong the first time... why should I trust anyone who says, "It'll be soon, now."? Well, there's the distinct likelyhood of induction, I suppose. But that's really quite different from going into labour. For one thing, it hurts. Not like labour doesn't, but being put on the drip causes contactions to be stronger and more painful than they would normally be - and often less effective, because they're artificial. And since it has to be done in the hospital, you're stuck in an annoying institution for AS LONG AS IT TAKES. Instead of going into labour at home (where you've got your own clothes, your own music, your familiar environment, your computer, your comfy chair, your bed, etc) and only heading to the hospital when contractions are 4 minutes apart, you're made to wear a stupid gown, lie in an uncomfortable bed, and WAIT. For HOURS. And HOURS often. In pain. Pain which, if it is doing what it should be doing (ie - making the baby come) they will slowly INCREASE the severity of. And if, for some reason, your body is NOT responding to the medication in the appropriate time period, they'll be forced to give you an emergency Caesarean Section... because you can't take labour half-way and then leave it. Once you start it, the baby's got to come out (within 48 hours, or you run the risk of a whole bunch of other complictions which Doctors nowadays don't want to be sued over... so they'll just cut you open instead.) I've worked on a Maternity Ward. I've seen inductions. I don't want one. Not all of them are that bad, but it still scares me. Why couldn't people have been right about me delivering early?
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| Mon, Feb 16, 2004 (9:00am) Family Day, today. One day 'til Due. My Doctor said, on my last visit, that I'd have more family by Family Day. So where is it? On a side note: Beware of Flying Objects.
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| Sun, Feb 15, 2004 (11:55pm) I have not been a good person to be around today. The hormone cocktail running through my veins, coupled with the mental frustration and physical discomforts of late pregnancy, have made me an extremely surly individual. Most of the day I dealt with this by staying away from people, and/or reading a book. When confronted by too many people and lacking the energy to get up and leave the room, I resorted to throwing things. I believe my projectile list for the day so far includes: a kleenex box, 2 diapers, a parasaurolophus, an ankylosaurus, and 3 cornbread muffins. I would have thrown a book, too, but I was reading it and would have lost my page. This evening was a little better. After eating as much delicious Sunday Dinner as my stomach would hold, and Shades taking charge of childcare during & after supper, I was more sociable. I even played Catan, and didn't throw anything at anyone during the game (though that was due, in part, to the fact that Kristy was giving me some Massage Therapy). Finished my book a few minutes ago. Gonna try to get to bed early, and have a better day tomorrow. |
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| Sun, Feb 15, 2004 (9:45am) 2 days 'til Due. If we have a baby today, I hope it's a girl. That's 'cuz we're naming it after my Oma if it's a girl... and today is my Oma's birthday. So: a girl, today, would be nice. Just thought I'd mention that in case any omnipotent beings are keeping up with my weblog, and feeling particularly benificent today. Mind you, a baby, ANY DAY NOW, would also be nice. Please. Still sore from the walk yesterday, but not as sore as I was last time. Tired again today from having contractions in the night. Still pregnant. This has got to change sometime soon.
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| Sat, Feb 14, 2004 (6:10pm) Ouch. In case you couldn't tell from this morning's entry, I'm feeling very sore today. No, not just sore. This goes beyond discomfort and into pain. That hour of walking the dogs yesterday caused my poor abused hips to feel even more abused, and after a night of contractions, they felt ready to fall apart if I stood wrong. I'm amazed my legs are still attatched at all. But I managed to make it through the morning without loosing any body parts, and was feeling a little better by the afternoon. So what did I do? I went walking the dogs with Mom again. I figured that if it caused me to have contractions yesterday, it might work again today... and contractions this evening would hopefully send me to the hospital later tonight, so the baby can be born in the wee hours of the 15th. Good theory... maybe. But no luck in the contraction department. Instead, I just feel even sorer. My hips can't be held together with anything more than chewing gum at this point. Any more of this and I won't need to go into labour... my legs will fall off and my pelvis will crack open like an over-cooked Thanksgiving Turkey! Aaaaaaarg! |
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| Sat, Feb 14, 2004 (10:10am) Bah. Valentines Day. Love sucks. And in severe cases, it can turn you into a bloated whale with sore joints, a microscopic bladder, hormone-induced-pudding-brain, and a seriously bitchy outlook on life. The contractions yesterday continued through most of the night... sometimes strong enough to make me think this was the real thing. But what have I got to show for them? I couldn't sleep well, I have very sore hips (contractions'll do that), I've got a belly which feels overstretched, and I'M STILL PREGNANT! Grrr. Bitch, bitch, bitch.
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| Fri, Feb 13, 2004 (7:15pm) Went for an hour-long walk the river valley with my Mom today (she walks her dogs there everyday. I join her occasionally, but usually don't have the pleasure of leaving my kids at home with Daddy while I do so). By half-way thru the walk I was having contractions - strong, but irregular - and they continued for an hour or so after getting home. Then they went away. Sucks. Played with kids. Got some cleaning done. Had a nap. The contractions are back again, a little, but its probably more of the same false labor. I hate playing guessing games with my own body. |
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| Fri, Feb 13, 2004 (10:45am) Friday the 13th! Only 4 days from due... this was the day I was hoping to have my baby on (well, ANY day would be good at this point, but today was what I'd been shooting for. Who doesn't want a Friday the Thirteenth baby, after all?) Unfortunately I don't feel at all... uh... belaboured. I hope that changes. I really, really, really don't want to give birth on, say, Valentives Day. How could I ever live with the shame of bringing a child into the world on a day of saccharine sweetness and commercialized emotional hype? Tho.. if we did have a Valetines Day baby, we could always call her birthday parties, "The Valentines Day Massacre", neh? Shades is home with me today, and that's really nice. I'd asked him to take the day off work 'cuz I've been feeling just so exhausted lately, and am barely managing to watch the 2 active toddlers while suffering from late-pregnancy fatigue. He wasn't originally going to (not 'cuz he didn't want to help me, but because he's got so much on his plate at work, and didn't want to dump it all on his co-worker) but then he came down with a bug, so he'd be pretty useless at work anyway. That means he got up with the kids today and let me sleep in a bit, which was so nice. And we've got plans to get a bit of housework done between the two of us... I've been terribly lax in housekeeping for the last few weeks - go figure. AND he's home and available on a moment's notice should I happen to go into labor (not like I'm fixated on this, or anything...)
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| Thurs, Feb 12, 2004 (10:35am) 5 days to go. Hopefully less. Got good sleep last night. Not that I went to bed particularly on time, but Wally had given me a nice back rub so my muscles were relaxed, and the baby wasn't booting me too hard, and I had 6 hours of nearly-uninterupted good sleep. I feel like a different person today. Although... still the kind of person who'd really like to give birth and get it over with. Yep. Gaming yestereve was cancelled, so Wally and Dan and I played Catan instead. I won the first game, and then spent the second game being ganged up on, and the object of much animosity. Dan won the second game, and I just wanted to warn everyone who might play with him in the future that he is a sneaky bastard. Wally and I were too busy trying to keep eachother from winning that we were taken by surprise when Dan turned his 6 points into 10 by stealing longest road and flipping a couple victory points at the same time (He only had 2 development cards! How dare they both be points?)
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| Wed, Feb 11, 2004 (9:25am) No babies yet. 6 days 'til due. Got lots of stuff done yesterday, tho, including cleaning the fishtanks, watering the plants, baking cookies with the kids, and spilling about 4 cups of sugar across the kitchen floor as my loose joints prevented me from holding onto the sugar container properly. Kalen, standing on a chair so she could help with cookie-making on the counter, declared, "Mommy! You had an accident! Sugar everywhere! I will HELP you!" and then leapt off the chair to land right in the middle of the spill, the way children at a playground will leap onto a tall pile of sand to watch it explode. Oh - I also swept the floors yesterday. A lot. Today, I'm dragging the kids to Star's place, just so we can get out of the house. It's also, coincidentally, a mere 5 minutes away from the Grey Nuns hospital, in case I should need to make a quick trip in that direction. Not that I think I will... I had contractions overnight (quite common after having one's mmbranes stripped) but nothing seems to have come of it.
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| Tues, Feb 10, 2004 (6:30pm) Blathering. 
I had my Dr.s appointment today. Mom came over to watch the kids so I could go into Edmonton for it, and she brought pics of their weekend excitement to share. Apparently, their van didn't just slide into the ditch, it actually ended up on its side. Click on the pic for more.Mom also told me that a friend of the family called her (from Vancouver) after reading about the mishap on my weblog. They talked for a good while, and Mom was really pleased to hear from him. I'm glad my weblog inspired the call... and thanks for making my Mom smile (you know who you are (grin)). As for me, I got a smile out of a survey in a book which my Mom brought over. It was about the different ways in which men and women think and communicate. My Mom took it and scored in the mid-range, suggesting that she straddles the border of male and female ways of thinking. I took it, and ended up right in the 'male' camp. Amusing. Doesn't surprise me too much, though. So... the Dr.'s appointment went well. He says the baby is still alive & kicking, and agrees that it has sunk itself quite firmly down in my pelvis. He also did an internal on me, and he stripped my membranes. Afterwards, he told me not to book a prenatal appointment for next wek, because he doesn't think I'll make it past the weekend. His guess is the baby will be born in the next 3 days or so. I'm happy about that - but I also remember that he said "only another 3 days, I think" for 3 visits running, last pregnancy... the one where the baby came 10 days overdue. So I'm trying not to be too excited. That aside, it feels like the baby is doing things inside me. Productive things. Here's ta hoping... |
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| Tues, Feb 10, 2004 (10:40am) One week. One week. One week. One week. Just one week. Unless, of course, it goes overdue. Then it'll be even longer. Arg.
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| Mon, Feb 9, 2004 (10:25am) 8 days. I don't wanna hold on for 8 more days. I want this baby before the week is out, so I can do all sorts of selfish and extravagant things... like wear pants with a waistline... or sleep on my tummy... or pass the baby off and let it kick someone else in the gut. Oh, sure, I know I'm being self-centered and unreasonable (saracastic smirk) but some days I want it to be all about me. And not about the parasite in me. Ah... well. The end is in sight. I just hope that end is on the near side of the due date, instead of the far side, where inductions lurk. Got a pretty good sleep last night. Finally filed online for Maternity Benefits from E.I. yestereve, and then watched more BubbleGum Crisis before bed. Looking forward to Seventh Sea RP tonight.
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| Sun, Feb 8, 2004 (6:45pm) Well, Sunday dinner with the extended family isn't happening tonight, because my parents ran off the road on their way back from the SCA event in Cold Lake. No one was hurt - the worst damage was a slightly bent in driver's door, and perhaps some loss of dignity to those passengers who had to climb out the windows and/or tailgate (as the doors were blocked by snow). They had to wait quite a while for a tow truck, because other more serious accidents had to be tended to first. Pity they had to wait, but as my Mom pointed out: they'd rather be not-serious and waiting, than injured and served first. So, since Sunday evening plans are off... anyone wanna come over and play Catan? |
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| Sun, Feb 8, 2004 (11:45am) 9 days to go. We're into the single digits, now! Yesterday was quiet. Hung out with Hjalti for a bit. Watched Bubblegum Crisis. Did some computer stuff with Wally (who burned me a very nice disc full of mp3's). Watched more Bubblegum Crisis. Didn't have any babies. Today looks to be quiet as well, with the prospect of a delicious Sunday dinner in the evening.
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| Sat, Feb 7, 2004 (1:55pm) 10 days to go. Personally, I'd like the baby to be born today - but I don't think it's feeling co-operative on that count. Somehow, I made it thru the day yesterday, despite dragging feet and drooping eyelids (Heavy reliance on the TV as a babysitter was part of my strategy). Shades let me have a nap when he got home, so I was a little more with-it for Friday evening gaming. Our 'My Life with Master' game didn't happen, however, due to low player turn out... so we ended up playing a rather long 6-person game of Settlers of Catan instead. And I won (grin). That felt good. I had a bizarrely good sleep last night. Got to bed before 1am, and didn't need to get up until nearly 6am (I guesss the baby wasn't sleeping on my bladder for a change). I was up once with a crying kid just after 7am, and then Shades let me sleep in 'til nearly noon. Oooh, the sheer bliss of sleep. So now I feel rested and happy, and ready for (just about) anything. Labour would be nice, I think. Yeah... if I could arrange to go into labour today, that would be ideal. Unfortunately, these things often don't work out as planned.. th baby keeps its own counsel on such matters. Oh - one last thing before I sign off. Yesterday I read (linked from the Thursday entry of Shades' blog) the 'Five Geek Fallacies' article. It was very amusing. And, alas, I see a great deal of myself and my friendship circle in that - though I'd like to think most of us are grown/growing out of the more severe versions. So when I spoke with Wally on the phone yesterday afternoon, I told him he should read the article too. He'd enjoy it. I had to repeat this several times, though, because he was driving at the time, and using speaker phone. ("Wally - have you read Shades' weblog?" "Shades' what?" "Weblog?" "Wblnng mumble-static-mumble grrnng?" "Pardon? What did you say?" "Huh?" "What?" "-mumble repeat that?" "I asked if you'd read Shades' weblog. He's linked an article on the Five Geek Fallacies - I think you'd like it!" "Geek - mumble - crackle??" "Sorry - could you repeat that?" " - said could you repeat that?" "Shades' weblog! Five Geek Fallacies! Read! It!" "mumble - will do that! Okay!") So later that evening I got a Quick-Comment from Wally which made me fall over laughing: Wally has this Public comment: Tee hee heee heee. Ouch. My sides.
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| Fri, Feb 6, 2004 (10:35am) 11 days left on our countdown. Last night was good. Wally came over, we hung out and tried to make my Mac speak to the new printer, went to BP's together where I got to talk to a variety of people I don't always sit or chat with, stayed out til past 1am, came back to my place for further geeking (and more poking the printer, which still ins't on peaking terms with my Mac), had excellent conversation about photography, browsed through reams of mp3 files, and I got a backrub & finally headed for bed in the vicinity of 3:30am. Oy, I haven't stayed up geeking that late for quite a while. It felt so good, though... especially 'cuz who knows when I'll be able to do it again? Once the baby comes, social life is a write-off and sleep is a sacred commodity. Man am I exhausted today, though.
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| Thurs, Feb 5, 2004 (10:10am) 12 Days. Only 12 days. I've been having a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions over the last couple days. Braxton-Hicks contractions, for those who aren't familiar with the term, are what used to be called "False Labor". They're similar to the contractions which you get during real labor, only they tend to be less strong, irregular, and don't end up producing a baby. (More recent medical knowledge suggests that they are a form of 'practice' labor which is actually important in gearing up the body for the real thing.) They're annoying, but it looks like my body is thinking of maybe doing something real in the next week or two. I hope so - I'm kinda fed up with this whole pregnancy thing. Blather, blather, blather. RP last night was good. Short, but good. Shades kindly took over childcare duties for the evening and let me escape into the night. I think I'll try to return the favor this evening and let him have some free time to work on his novel or play online before I duck out to BP's. In otherwords, if you're one of the BP's crowd who reads my weblog, don't necessarily expect to see me at the restaurant 'til 9-ish. (Not like anyone ever expects me to be anywhere on time, hm?) Number of emails currently sitting in my inbox: 199. This 'clearing out the inbox' project is not going well. Hmm. Oh - speaking of email, tho - My Quick-Comment form generated an amusing message yesterday. Since it was marked Public, I'll post it: Em Es has this Public comment:The email addy which accompanied the comment is completely unfamiliar to me. I'm not sure if I'm going to reply... my first impression is that someone was googling for 'slumber party' or something equally questionable and happened on one of my archived entries. The request for "details" is highly suspicious. Then again, the comments form is there for a reason.. and if someone is bothering to actually read my weblog (even if they encountered it through some odd 'net search) it'd be nice of me to respond. So, I figured I'd mention it in today's entry. If the poster is following my weblog and sees this, s/he can comment again, and I'll respond. If it was just a lame attempt to get sordid slumber party stories, I will ignore it.
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| Wed, Feb 4, 2004 (10:45am) BRAINS!!! We'll suck your brains out! MwahaHAHAHAhahaha! Er. Ahem. So, Wally was over last night, and we hooked Icarus' brain (I mean harddrive) up to Daedelus' brain (harddrive, yes) and hooked 'em both up to the house network, and sucked all their memories out. Wally burned 'em onto a disc for me, and now we can wipe out their memories, and make them our willing slaves. Ah... I love geeking. The feeling of power, and control.... And the fact that Mac's don't have the Blue Screen of Death to come plunging down upon you, destroying such fragile illusions. 13 days 'til due date. I can do this. I can hang on. I will not go insane. I will take things one day at a time, and enjoy life's little pleasures. Oh - and I will remember to submit my Purgatory concept today.
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| Tues, Feb 3, 2004 (11:10am) Seventh Sea gaming last night was very amusing. I could blather gaming stories, but only the people involved in the game would have a clue what they meant, or why they were significnt, so I won't bother. I'll just say it was easily the most fun I've had in the last month of gaming. But as far as stories and quotes go, I've been collecting a few of Kalen's more amusing ones. Some of my readers have heard these before (in person), but I thought I'd post them for a broader audience. Raven: Kalen, would you go see who's at the door? I think some people are here for Roleplaying tonight.
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| Mon, Feb 2, 2004 (9:45am) Mental Randomizer - Status: ON. Seventh Sea gaming tonight! Yay. Ooh.. I have to make supper for that though. Must remember. Bah. Pregnant. Sucks. I think I might buy myself some new slippers. The current pair are beginning to loose their lining at the seams. Besides, I want to get out of the house and spend money on something. Spending money makes me feel better. Bah - getting out of the house makes me feel better. Spending money is just a perk. Hmm. I'm on Maternity Leave. Don't have much money. Sucks. Wally sent many fascinating emails overnight. Tres amusant. That boy has too much time on his hands, tho. Bet he's never been pregnant. Oh.. wait.. I s'pose not. Smart boy. Interesting... the latest version of Mac Mail has a 'load images' option on incoming mail messages (as an alert bar on the top of the message), and doesn't automatically display anything without your permission. I like. 'Panther' is growing on me, btw. Especially 'cuz it makes the graphics on my solitaire game move more smoothly. (Yes, I spend a great deal of time playng Solitaire on my expensive computer). I wonder when I can start taking ibuprofen again. The pregnancy is almost over. It wouldn't hurt the baby to take it at this stage, would it? Maybe I'll ask the doctor at my app't tomorrow. Spaghetti. I think we'll make spaghetti for supper tonight. Feeds lots. Costs little. Must take ground beef out of the freezer to thaw, for making sauce. My Mom makes excellent Sunday supper. Yum. I need a bigger stomach. Stupid parasite takes up too much room. Bah. Pregnant. Sucks. Broke the $20,000 mark in Casino Solitaire winnings, yesterday. Yay! Hm.. I wonder if I play too much solitaire. Breakfast. Should go eat breakfast, soon. Can't eat breakfast. There's Lego all over the table. Not Shades' fault either - it's Kalen's Lego. But at least it means she was playing Lego this morning, and not ransacking the house or burying her brother in blankets and pillows and toys. Mmm.. Shades bought us a new printer yesterday. And I have 'Panther' on my Mac. Maybe I can set it up so my Mac prints to the new printer properly. Then I can make chits, and run another DungeonQuest! Yeah!! Or.. um... maybe not. Yet, at least. Later, I think. Like in a couple years. The Mail program has a new sound when it sends off mail, too. Interesting. Stupid parasite. Only 15 more days 'til D-Day, though. Think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts. Buying new slippers is a happy thought. Mental Randomizer - Buffer cleared.
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| Sun, Feb 1, 2004 (8:45am) Kale is still doing fine this morning. Looks like there were no lasting ill effects from her sleep-over at Aria's. I, on the other hand, am now waddling like a penguin. Sometime mid-yesterday, the baby decided to settle into a new position. I believe this position is known as "head rammed down between my legs". Can't think of anything else which would cause the increased pelvic pressure, sore lower back, and wobbly hips. The increased nocturnal bathroom visits would also serve to support my suspicion that the baby is worming its way down. I hope I don't have too much longer before this kid gets out of my system. After all, I'm technically within sight of my due date, and the baby could come at any time now. I suspect, though, that it'll be another week. Connor spent at least a week inside me after initiating 'the penguin effect'. Gah.
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