Atropa Belladonna~ Raven (a.k.a. Nightshade)'s Weblog ~
These are the ARCHIVES of April 2004. For more archives, visit the Archives page. For the current Weblog entries, check the Main page.
Atropa Belladonna| Thurs, April 29, 2004 (11:20am) Dilema: Do I go swordfighting with Atwood tonight, or do I take Kalen to BP's to meet Seth? Or maybe I'll do neither, and stay home all night playing Sims. I'm enjoying the Sims Makin' Magic. I'm also extremely grateful that Jase now has the head control to be able to breastfeed on my arms, half-braced against a computer desk so I can play Sims while he's feeding. It's done wonders for my outlook on life. On that topic, I'm taking antidepressants now. I s'pose I should clarify that: I'm not depressed (at least, not clinically). I have, however, been prescribed (by my doctor, whom I saw on Tuesday) a low-dose anti-depressant to help with the tension and migraines I've been having more often, lately. It's supposed to help with my sleep cycle, so I get better quality sleep and wake up more refreshed and less tense, and happier, and so on. Personally, I think that the best thing for my sleep cycle right now would be to NOT HAVE A NEWBORN IN THE HOUSE. Waking up wot feed him, or calm his crying, or change his diaper, anywhere from one to 2 dozen times per night... that's what's screwing with my sleep. But I'm willing to try the stuff for a month (as well as some of the other suggestions my doctor gave) and see if it helps. Of course, going to bed before 2 am on most nights would also be a good idea. --- Oh, oh. Purgatory starts tomorrow, and I still haven't finished my costume. Looks like tonight will be another night I don't get to bed 'til after 2am. Drat. |
| Tues, April 27, 2004 (11:35am) Speak of the Devil... Just read Dave's weblog, and in it he mentioned watching The Prophecy. I'd have to agree with Corin's opinion on the Devil in that movie. Viggo Mortenson plays the Best Satan in that movie. And on the same topic, Christopher Walken is the Creepiest Angel ever. But the real purpose of this post was 'cuz I had to brag. I'm related to the Devil, ya see. Not related by blood, though. No, I married into the family. Shades' Uncle Bill is the Devil. Have you ever seen the Caramilk commercial? You know - the one where the guy says, "I'm willing to pay anything for the Caramilk secret." And the Devil echos "Anything???" ... Yeah, well he's my Uncle. I'm the Devil's niece. (He even said I was a wonderful addition to the Family, at one point. Kay. That's all. I know some of my weblog readers have already heard me blather on with pride about how I'm related to the Devil, so I won't go on about it any further. But it's too cool not to mention whenever I get the chance. (C'mon - wouldn't you be proud of that sort of thing, too?) --- Oh, shit. Only 3 more days 'til Purgatory starts! I've got to get to work on my costume, soon. |
| Mon, April 26, 2004 (12:10pm) You can Fake It with a Banana (Jasen is officially 2 months old today. Yay!) So, some friends were over last Friday, chatting about various mundanities, and the expression "You can fake it with a banana" came up. I've heard the expression before, and knew it was "a housewife thing". Not knowing anything else about the phrase, I made an assumption about its meaning which most people probably make when they hear it. I mean - a banana! What else comes to mind? Our Friday conversation was not, however, about the habits of bored housewives, but about baking. Jasen and Connor were going to be baptised on the weekend, and there'd be coffee and cookies at my place afterwards - but I was out of eggs, and couldn't bake cookies without them. Someone suggested I use banana instead. Apparently, in most baking, half a banana can be substituted for each egg. This won't work in recipes where the egg is whipped or fluffed up (such as meringes or mousses) but in any case where the egg is being used to bake the dough sticky, you can instead fake it with a banana. I declined, since I dislike the taste of bananas, but it's a useful tidbit of knowledge to have. That way, if I'm ever stuck on a deserted tropical island with a functioning oven and all the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies - except the eggs - I'll know what to do with the local bananas. The baptism, BTW, went very well. Our kids are now official members of the Catholic Church. For anyone who rolls their eyes at this concept, I'll happily share a coffee with you some day and listen to you tell me everything you find wrong with religion. You see, I don't want to raise my kids to be the kind of Christians who engage in Bible-thumping or who got snooty around "those unworthy unbelievers". I'd rather get to know people as people and develop a friendship which is not based on faith or creed. How can you teach kids that Christianity is about Loving your Neighbour unless you also teach them to accept others (even the weirdos and gamers and the socially inept and those of alternative sexual persuasion)? Besides, it'd be pretty hypocritical of me to teach my kids prejudice against those groups when I fit into most of them. |
| Thurs, April 22, 2004 (3:45pm) At the Mercy of Hormones... Jasen has learned to smile. This is a Very Dangerous Thing. I remember when Kalen and Connor each hit this stage in their lives, too. One moment the baby is a squalling pink little parasite, reminiscent of some larval-stage bug (a very loud bug, for that matter)... and the next, it is a dispenser of golden sunbeams. Bah - Sunbeams! See how much the critter has me in its thrall? I don't even like sunbeams. I'm more of a night person. And yet, here I sit, captivated by its tiny grins, its Harrison-Ford-smirks, and its wide-open-mouthed smiles... and all I can think of is how the entire room seems to light up when the little guys favors me with one of his adorable faces. It's hormones - that's what it is. Millions of years of evolution have created a physiological bond between mothers and cute smiling babies, which I am unable to resist. I can tell myself that I'm not a baby-person. I can remind myself of the pain and suffering which the beastie has caused (and still causes) me. I can hunt for that bit of my psyche which is predominantly male and refuse to admit that I have any maternal tendencies.... and all that Jase has to do is give me a single sideways grin, and it's all gone. Stripped away. Completely. I am reduced to a dribbling, cooing, idiot. I know how foolish I look making faces at the baby, trying to catch another precious smile, and yet, I can not tear myself away. I loose hours of my life in thrall to that cute little face. I think thoughts of sunbeams and blue skies, and puppies and rainbows, and how darling those little dimples are. And I pray that some day I can get back to my normal self (which is not full of raging female hormones) so I can actually get some work done in a day, instead of ooooohing and aaaaaahing over little baby smiles. 
But first, I have to go get my fix again. (He's just too cute! - click for a larger image, if you can stomach the abominable cuteness.) |
| Tues, April 20, 2004 (1:10pm) Oh, I forgot to mention - Corin sent me a link yeserday, to an article which happens to feature a friend of mine. Check out: Hackers under the hood. The first individual profiled, Raven Alder, is my friend from DC (the Raven who hosted the famed Lesbian-Pirate-Ninja-weekend). If you want to skip the article (which is, btw, a bit misleading) and go straight to her profile, it's here. And Corin also passed on an interesting bit of info I hadn't known before: Her husband, Ash, used to work with Raven. The incredible shrinking universe strikes again! |
| Tues, April 20, 2004 (10:45am) Oh joy. On Sunday evening, my Dad brought some ceramics glue over so I could repair a couple of coffee mugs which had broken handles. Nothing major - just one of those little repair jobs which need doing from time to time. This morning, however, I get to use that same ceramics glue to reassemble a gargoyle which some child smashed while playing on my computer desk. Grrrr. Anyone want to buy a child, cheap? (Two for One special, while supplies last!) |
| Sat, April 17, 2004 (12:00pm) Things to be Thankful For - A list, by 'Ra.
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| Thurs, April 15, 2004 (7:00pm) Note to self: When one's keyboard is malfunctioning, do not restart the computer to see if that will help unless you have first disabled the login password requirement. I was completely unable to use my computer for most of a day because I couldn't log on to my own bloody machine! Anyway, I do have a functional keyboard again. Thanks, Wally! Thanks as well to those people who emailed me to offer keyboards, although I didn't know about these offers until I was able to log on. They probably wouldn't have been much help though, since I've got a Mac, and needed a USB keyboard. (I would have mentioned that in my previous entry, but didn't want to spend the time searching for the capital letters to spell 'USB' so I could cut and paste them one by one into the post.) Thanks especially to my bro, who sent me this thoughtful message: a brother of yours has this Public comment: Accomplishments of the Day: Got kids up, dressed, fed, and ready to go places while it was still morning. Loaded everyone in the van and went with Wally into Edmonton to get a replacement keyboard. Drove back to Sherwood Park. Deposited Shades' paycheque. Had lunch at Sorrentino's (MMmmm, Garlic Festival!) Got haircuts for both toddlers. Came home, put the kids down for naps and fed the baby while Wally got my keyboard working. Got onto the 'Net and surfed uninterupted (Yay!) for the first time in days. |
| Wed, April 14, 2004 (10:00am) Crickey, there's a lot of white stuff out there. Well, we need the moisture, I guess. Bah - my keyboard is on the fritz. I am being forced to assemble my blog entry with a mouse, using lots of cut and paste. It feels like I'm writing a ransom note with letters clipped one by one from a newspaper. Arrrg. |
| Sat, April 10, 2004 (11:10pm) Starlin' and Scritch have been successfully wed. YAY! Congratulations, you two! The wedding ceremony was quite nice - the weather was amazing, in fact - but there were plenty of little things which didn't go exactly as expected, so we'll all have things to laugh about later. Stuff like the mis-matched kids' shoes, the flower shop screwing up the bouquets, a corset which kept bunching up due to lack of boning down the front, and the bride arriving 45 minutes late. Despite all that, no one had any complaints (that I heard, at least) and the important stuff was all in the right place. And there was no mud wrestling. At least, none at the ceremony. I didn't make it to the reception because staring into the sun for photos aggravated an already unpleasant headache, and turned it into a migraine. So here I am at home instead, updating my weblog when I could have been fondling Starlin's camera at the hotel. Alas. Well, I hope the reception is wonderful, and I'm sure Starlin' (and/or others) will update blogs soon so I can hear how it all turned out. |
| Sat, April 10, 2004 (12:45pm) Woohooo! I got my Purgatory Character last night! Thanks for all the work that went into these, Lazarus & Gaider. Man - I can't wait for the first event, now. Although, I s'pose, I should put some work into assembling a costume before that date rolls around. And in other news, today is my best friend's wedding. To celebrate this event, my mind ran in circles all night. Nowhere near as bad as Starlin's must have, I'm sure, but enough to generate dreams of bizarre proportions. The most vivid of which features Star's Wedding: There were candles everywhere, scattered in rows, fields, and geometric designs, reminiscent of either Phantom of the Opera or some giant cathedral packed with Shrines where young maidens could light candles and pray for deliverance. The event itself was taking place in some sort of community hall, with room for hundreds and hundreds of people - and it was packed. People roamed amidst candles, tables, chairs, and indoor goldfish ponds. They spilled out into the grounds, which were strewn with faery mist, and topiary shrubs, and yet more candles. Everyone wore some sort of bizarre costume - mostly medieval, but there were also vampires, and carnival folk, and ladies garbed in Edwardian elegance (who were, I'm sure, dressed up to play in Val and Ian's Titanic event.) There was also mud wrestling. Don't ask me - it wasn't my wedding, okay. Oh, and everyone - absolutely everyone, even the mud wrestlers - had cameras. Some were cheap disposables, but most were expensive SLRs or fancy digital cameras. Starlin' herself, of course, had The Queen Of Cameras. All bowed before her photographic prowess, and she was treated like the Conquering Hero, the Homecoming Queen, and The Bride, all rolled into one. She was so eyecatching and impressive, that no one noticed Scritch was missing... not even during the ceremony itself. She got married in front of thousands of witnesses, and the groom was missing. No one seemed to be bothered by this at all. I, as her Bride's Maid, took upon myself to whisper this little detail into Starlin's ear as she stood before the alter. She pfah-pfah'd me, and said not to worry about it. After all, she had the World's Most Amazing Digital Camera, and we could just Photoshop her husband into the photos later. |
| Thurs, April 8, 2004 (6:45pm) Aaah. Shades is home. The children are no longer my sole responsibility. Life has just gotten a lot better. I thought I'd take a moment to mention the results of my earlier request for weblog readers to drop me a line. 21 people used the Comment form to let me know they read my weblog regularly. To you, I say THANKS - both for the readership, and for dropping me a line. There are, in addition to those 21, another 4 who told me verbally that they are regular readers, or who said nothing but I know they read it (people like my Mom, and someone overseas... oh, and that sweet guy I live with). So that makes 25 regular readers. Very cool! There's another 5 or 10 that I know of who are occasional readers, but certainly don't account for much bandwidth usage. The bandwidth issue isn't really a concern for me - I'm glad some people find my rantings amusing - it just tells me that I ought to keep my weblog down to a reasonable size, and archive it more often than 3 times per year. I was also very pleased to hear from some readers whom I've never met. I don't know who you are, or how you stumbled across my weblog, but thanks for visiting! Catch ya all around. I'm off to enjoy some of life's luxuries, now. Like... a shower. And clean clothes. And maybe even an uninterupted half-hour of playing Sims. |
| Thurs, April 8, 2004 (11:25am) It is day 3 of my imprisonment on the Isle of Sick Children. No hope of rescue is in sight. My gaolers demand my constant attention. I am on call round-the-clock running with sippy cups of orange-juice, armloads of filthy laundry, and biohazard bags filled with dirty diapers. Failure to respond to the summons of these cruel taskmasters is punishable by auditory torture - I'm not sure my eardrums will ever heal. I may bear these scars to my deathbed. Yesterday I was able to sneak away for 10 minutes to huddle by the computer and search for scraps of mail - anything to suggest that others I had once known were alive and well, elsewhere in the world. Such faint hope is all I live for, these days. I scrawled a few words myself - in case any should see them in passing - and then quickly returned to my duties. My absence did not go unpunished, however. On my return, I found that one of the overlord's minions had befouled my place of eating. I spent the next half hour scrubbing the kitchen clean of this foul stench, and afterwards could not stomach my meal of thin gruel. My appetite is weak, and I'm not sure how much longer I can go on. Oh, no - I hear them calling again, in their sharp, high voices. I must go soon, or the punishments shall be dire. I only pray that I might survive until evening, when perhaps the cover of darkness shall mask my escape. If the Lord smiles upon me, I might make it as far as the hamlet of Boston, in the Kingdom of Pizza. There shall I celebrate my freedom with others.... until such a time as my absence is noticed, and I am forced back to this vile place. Watch for me, my friends. And if I come not to the appointed place, know that I think of thee still. |
| Wed, April 7, 2004 (9:30am) Woohoo! Blue Revolutionist updated his blog! It doesn't happen often, but it's always a worthwhile read when he does. Ya know what would make it better, though? If there were some comments forum... Halsocan, or something similar. I keep wanting to make some observation, or follow some thread of his post, and forget to do so because I'd have to pull up my email program first. Any possibility you could include a comments section, Mr. Revolutionist? |
| Tues, April 6, 2004 (10:45am) Dave Gaider had this Public comment: ---- Comments : You murdered me IN MY SLEEP?---- Which makes me wonder... if I'd murdered him while he was awake, could I still have my job? Accomplishment of the Day: Finished S.D. Tower's Assassins of Tamurin. Not a bad book, but not the cream of the crop, either. The plot was predicatable and the foreshadowing took away almost any element of surprise. The quality of writing made up for most of that, though, and I'd recommend it to anyone who's looking for some simple escape fantasy. |
| Mon, April 5, 2004 (12:55pm) After a most excellent weekend, Monday has reared its ugly head, and it looks even more vile in the light of the weekend's good fortune. Shades is off to work again. I'm stuck at home the kids, two of whom seem to be sick. Oh, and I seem to be sick, too. And I forgot to buy milk and juice on the way home late last night, so we had no fluids to offer the miserable kids, and only just enough milk for a single cup of tea. And the critter didn't sleep well last night, so I got barely 4 hours of sleep.And to top it off, the sleep I did get was plagued with disturbing dreams, the worst of which was this: Bioware decided to produce a game based on Gaider's Sovereign RPG. Oh, sure... this sounds wonderful. Even in my dream I was ecstatic. I whooped, I danced, I was beside myself with joy. And I begged Gaider to help me get a job at Bioware. He had to put up with a week of my incessant (and I do mean incessant. Anyone who has seen me obsess about Sovereign might have some inkling of what I put the poor guy through) pleading. Finally, he said he'd see what he could do. And he did it - he got me a job there! I was in charge of the in-house daycare. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuugh! The kids! The screaming toddlers! The whining babies! The icky spawn of computer geeks, mingled with the reproductive mishaps of gamers. It was terrible! I was surrounded by all that I hate about my current "job", while working in the same building where my dreams were taking form electronicly. It was more than I could bear. I snapped. I flipped. I went stark raving mad. And I murdered Gaider in his sleep. And then Bioware fired me. And I didn't get to play Sovereign, after all. |
| Mon, April 5, 2004 (2:10am) A list of Good Things (in reverse sequential order).
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| Fri, April 2, 2004 (3:35pm) Things that BUG Me (Some observations on shopping with children) I admit to having a low tolerance for many things. Parenthood has taken the edge off my general annoyance with children (mine and others) but there are still some things which just get under my skin. For example: - I hate it when people allow their toddlers to run rampant. C'mon... you're a parent for goodness sake! DO some PARENTING! Letting kids run off some steam in an empty stretch of mall is one thing. Letting them scream at the top of their lungs and charge headlong into crowds (oblivious of who might step on them) is quite another. It's especially rude when you let your kid smash into the shins of an elderly lady, or dash in front of electronic wheelchairs, or cut off parents pushing strollers in such a way that they are forced to choose between crashing into your child or bringing their own kid to a sudden and jarring halt. And IF this happens, for crying out loud, could you apologise to the elderly lady/handicapped guy/pack of mothers who are giving you a viscious evil eye? - Food courts are not playgrounds. When enjoying a meal with our kids, please keep them under control. Letting them climb over the chairs of other occupied tables is rude. And don't let them get their grubby, sticky, greasy fingers on other people's coats or shopping bags, or pants. And try to keep them from shrieking like banshees, okay? Some of us like our eardrums intact. And wipe them down when they're done, please, because we just know that you're going to be going into stores with those kids later, and they'll be touching things... things which other people might want to buy someday. - There is a certain flow to traffic in a mall. This is completely disrupted when you walk slowly down the mall pushing a wide stroller, with a kid holding on (with outstretched arms) on either side of the stroller, and then another parent next to you holding their own kid by the hand, leaving NO GAPS for anyone else to get past you. You should NOT walk SIX people abreast down the mall! Especially when they are all moving at the speed of a 2-year old! - And what bugs me the most?? When you are doing all of the above while shopping WITH ME. If one parent isn't minding their own spawn, it reflects badly on the parent who is trying to maintain some modicum of control. Your kid(s)' poor behaviour encourages mine to misbehave. And when you volunteer to "mind the kids" while I go into a store, or buy some food, I expect that you will mind them... I don't want to come out to discover they have half the mall patrons staring at them (and you) with disgust. Oh, and QUIT walking abreast of me when I'm pushing the double stroller, kay?? It's TOO WIDE to have anyone walking next to it. And when I ask you to not walk right beside me because it's cutting off mall traffic, then could you, maybe, possibly, STOP walking right next to me?!?!?! Don't just acknowledge, "Yeah, it sure blocks things off when we do this." STOP DOING IT! And if I slow down with my stroller so I can get behind you and stop blocking the aisle... then DON'T SLOW DOWN to match my pace. AUuuuugh! Remind me to bring a taser next time I go shopping. Just in case. |
| Fri, April 2, 2004 (10:20am) The back crawl is a harsh mistress. Or, rather, lactic acid build-up and muscle fatigue is a harsh mistress. No, wait - I've got it! Waking up in the middle of the night to deal with a screaming newborn and realizing that your entire back is one large muscle knot because you were swimming yesterday and there's still too much lactic acid built up in those muscles so you can barely move - let alone lift a squalling baby - and all you want to do is burrow under a pillow and die... that is a harsh mistress. (This message brought to you by the Association for Appreciation of Harsh Mistresses.) --- Oh, and I keep forgetting to say this: Dan has a new cell phone. His number is the same as it used to be, if anyone wants to contact him that way. He asked me to post that, but I've been forgetting, and by now everyone who needs to know probably does already. But hey, I posted it. Kay. |