Atropa Belladonna~ Raven (a.k.a. Nightshade)'s Weblog ~
These are the ARCHIVES of FEB 2005. For more archives, visit the Archives page. For the current Weblog entries, check the Main page.
Atropa Belladonna| Sat Feb 26, 2005 (10:50pm) Happy Birthday to Us! Shades and I have (again) survived a whole YEAR of life with a newborn. Jase is officially 1 year old today. He knows how to walk (but still prefers to crawl 'cuz it's faster), and he can say half a dozen words: Mama, Dada, Ow, Ba-doh (bottle), Aww, and (infrequently) Num. He can clap, and wave, and play cute games like PeekaBoo, or I'm Gonna Bite Ya! He can hold his own bottle. He eats solid food (messily). He sleeps through the night. Yep... he's progressing out of the pink larval stage, and moving towards membership in the bipedal club. Life is Good. |
| Fri, Feb 25, 2005 (10:00pm) By special request, here's a link to the site where you can get your own fabulous 'DUCT TAPE' shirt: |
| Fri, Feb 25, 2005 (2:30pm) I got a strange look from the lady stocking shelves at Canadian Tire today. "Excuse me, but which aisle is the duct tape in?" "There's a display over there." She replied, gesturing to a small section with tapes, paper pads, and household goods. "No, the aisle with all the duct tape. The stuff over there is just the house brand, on special." She raised an eyebrow at me. "I need a specific type of duct tape," I continued. "It's not for ducts, so it doesn't have to be heat-resistant, but it does need to be an easy-rip variety." She looked me up and down. Perhaps she was not expecting me to know there were different types of duct tape, and that not all of them were really "duct" tape at all. Or maybe she was wondering what kind of Mom would go duct tape shopping with two toddlers tossed in her cart. Whatever the case, she pointed me to the correct aisle, and I quickly found what I was looking for. It wasn't until I'd paid for my purchases and was loading the kids in the van that it finally clicked. Note to Self: Do not wear a T-shirt which reads "DUCT TAPE: It's Not Just For The Bedroom Anymore" when shopping for duct tape. |
| Wed, Feb 23, 2005 (11:05am) My Quick-Comments are definitely working again. Thank you to everyone who commented on the Allergist thing... you made me smile. Here's a few of them. Dave has this Public comment: Comments : I find a slight flaw in the Allergist's plan to have your friends bring a set of clothes over to change into. One, if we have pets, all of our clothes are going to have pet stuff on it. Two, unless we're changing outside the house, we have to still come in with our tainted clothes thereby contaminating the house. I think you're supposed to take them straight out of the wash, seal them in a plastic bag, and bring them over. Dancing Bear also has a good suggestion on that point.... Dancing Bear has this Public comment: Comments : It's simple, really -- you just greet your friends at the door with a hose, a soapy brush, some towels and an armful of assorted hyperallergenic kimonos. Before you let them into the house, strip 'em down, rinse with hose, soap, rinse again, towel dry and slip on the garment of their choice. What could be simpler? Hey, if they're really your friends, they won't object. My readers don't have to know who 'Dancing Bear' is to see the dripping sarcasm, right? Krys has this Public comment: Comments : I understand all of that, but only to an extent. It seems your house is being turned in to an isolation area. What about going shopping? Or the kids going to school? Does every kid at the school have to change before entering the classroom? If he's in that room all day, he can still react.... it just sounds a litte extreme to me... but then again, I haven't met the wee lad. Yeah, it is a little extreme. The basic concept, though, is that since he'll be exposed to allergens elsewhere, his home should be as allergen-free as possible, so he'll have the strength and energy reserves to resist the unavoidable allergens. Kristy has this Private comment: Comments : YIKES! What a strict guy, maybe he needs to work on his people skills a bit???Mmm, thanks! I may just take you up on that. And yeah... I've heard from several people (online and RL) that his people skills / bedside manner is rather lacking. Anne has this Public comment: Comments : I don't know if your email is working or not, but that allergist needs a swift one in the 'nads. How DARE he manipulate you with guilt and hella-attitude, given the lengths to which you go to provide a healthy, safe, stimulating and interactive environment for every single one of your kids??? What an asshole. As far as I'm concerned, he can [censored]. Tanya Halabisky has this Public comment: (snip) It's those stupid maternal hormones which cause any accusation of guilt to be multiplied 1000-fold, ain't it? Jode has this Public comment: Comments : Wow. That's quite the ordeal. Thanks. To be honest, I did really notice the insane allergen level when I was living in that situation. I ended up stay at friends' houses overnight a lot, and tried to be home as little as possible in the day. Still ended up in the hospital a couple times. I've decided that I AM going to implement some changes. But since the kids haven't died of allergens yet, I think it's safe to treat this more like a long term project, not something which I must attend to immediately. Hardwood in the kids' bedrooms is on the top of the priority list, because they spend so much time in their rooms, and it's where they recharge overnight. The decontamination chamber in the front entry will have to wait a while, I think. It'll wait until I either have a couple million bucks kicking around to play with, or someone invites a cute Vulcan chick over, and supplies me with blue decontamination jelly. |
| Fri, Feb 18, 2005 (2:30pm) If SuperHeros had weblogs... The Intrepid Shapiro vs. The ALLergist Sorry I havent posted in a while. I saved Autistic Lad from Certain Doom recently, and I'm still kinda winded from a blow or two that my nemesis landed. Now, I'm not normally one to publicize my exploits, but some days even a SuperHero has ta vent. Ya know? The day began pretty quietly. Crazy Lady came by to assist Banshee Lad in his ongoing vocal training, I loaded Autistic Lad into the Intrepid-Mobile, along with Kid Attitude - who I dropped off at the DayHome for the Criminally Insane - and headed Downtown for the meeting at the Place and Time which Had Been Ordained. I wasn't particularly worried. The Allergist was an old nemisis of mine, you see... we'd crossed paths in my youth. Back then, he had his minions hold me down and stab me with sharp needles while applying a variety of poisons to the wounds. But I'd been told he'd mellowed since then. Modern medicine has come a long ways, and his Torture Techniques have followed suit. Autistic Lad should come out of this with only a few surface scratches, and perhaps a slight itch under his skin. (The Allergist has ways of getting under your skin. It's his SuperPower.) Besides, Autistic Lad has the Power of Oblivion at his disposal. As long as his fatal weakness (vulnerability to loud noises) wasn't used against him, he could probably ignore most trauma. Our inital encounter went well. I had to pay my dues before gaining entrance to the sanctum, ($25 for testing materials not covered by AHC) but once we were in, the matter was well in hand. Confronted with scratch-sticks and potions, I held firm (to the Lad) in the face of the onslaught. Autistic Lad fought bravely, and although welts broke out on his skin, he did not succumb. He was, in fact, quite distracted by all the pretty shiny stickers they provided us with. By the time his skin showed the first scattering of red spots, the Allergist's desk was liberally bedecked in yellow smiley faces, red dinosaurs, and tiny colourful stars. Round One to us! The Allergist returned, half an hour later, armed this time with a stack of paperwork. "Autistic Lad is vulnerable to Peanuts!" he declared. "And House Dust! And Cats! And Dogs! Feathers! Dander! Cigarette Smoke! Environmental Allergens abound!" He hit me with the paperwork, explaining which forms would need to be given to the doctor, the shcool, and the front reception desk. I bravely bore up under this unexpected assault. He flung instructional pamphlets and release forms - I countered with fluent medical terminology, and a practiced signature. He threw in a prescription for two Epi-pens (one for home, and one for school) and demanded a demonstration (on a disarmed model) to show that I could inject my offspring with adrenaline in an emergency. This test, too, I passed. Not with the flying colours I had hoped (Note to self: REMEMBER TO KEEP THUMB AWAY FROM THE END OF THE PEN. Wrap all digits around the Epi-pen. Do not cover the saftey-cap end, or medication will not inject properly) but I survived. Soon, the ordeal would be over, and I could return home with Autistic Lad for the Lunch of Champions. But it was not to be. "You realize," The Allergist said, "You'll have to make some changes around the house." "We already have a peanut-free house." I said. "We have no pets. We don't smoke." "Did you buy your house, or have it built?" "Built." I stated with confidence. "I didn't want to inherit anyone else's secondhand pet dander, or residual smoke in the carpets. I have allergies too." "Do you have Lino or Hardwood, or do you have Carpet?" "Some Lino, some Carpet."I see his eyebrows furrow. "But I vacuum the carpet regularly!" I add, which is perhaps a bit of a lie. "Feather pillows? Down duvets?" "Nope. None." "Your couches: leather or cloth upholstered?" Hahah! This is easy. "Leather. I got a leather couch because I know they're easier to keep clean." The Allergist nodded to himself, and jotted down some notes. Apparently he sensed I would not be an easy opponent to defeat, for he suddenly switched tactics. "What about your friends?" "What about them?" "Do they smoke? Do they have pets?" "Yes, they have pets. But they never bring them over." "Oh yes they do. Whenever they visit, they have pet hair on them. That hair enters your house, and gets on your furniture, and gets into your carpets. You'll have to get your friends to change clothes whenever they come to visit." -- Gah! I take a moment to catch my breath, and clean my ears. "What!?!" "It's simple. Tell them they need to bring a spare change of clothes whenever they visit. Make sure they've showered just before they come over, and when they arrive, they change into clean clothes. When they leave, they can take the 'visiting' clothes home with them, or they can leave them at your house for next time. You'll just need to wash them now and then. "Ah.... uh... No? I can't ask my friends to do that." "It's not that difficult. This is for the health of your child." "But what about my friends' kids? Are they going to get a bath before each and every time they visit, and be changed in and out of clothes whenever they come to play??" "This is ALL for the health of your child!" he repeats, for emphasis. "But we have a lot of people over... and really, they mostly just hang out in the basement." "Then your basement is infested with allergens! It's no use building your own house and not keeping pets if ALL YOU'RE DOING IS LETTING YOUR FRIENDS' _PETS_ IN whenever your friends come to visit." I'm struggling here, now. "Yeah - but - it's the basement! The kids hardly ever go down there. It's just where we hang out, and relax, and... oh, wait." I just remembered something bad. "Uh... We have an upholstered couch, in the basement. It's kinda doggy." "Get rid of it!" "Do you have any idea how expensive it would be to replace that couch? They don't build 'em like that anymore!" "Then get it re-upholstered, and restuffed." "But... but... but...!" I look around desperately for aid. No one comes to my rescue. The Allergist looks down at me, with Autistic Lad struggling desperately in my arms. He must sense imminent defeat, and is trying to flee. "You care about him, right? You want to do what's best for him? Then take out ALL the carpet. Get ALL the allergens out which you can. Tell ALL your friends to shower and change clothes when they come to visit." I can see there will be no victory for me here, today. I nod meekly, pack up Autistic Lad's things, and take my battered and bruised self esteem out the door. Dragging ourselves back to the intrepid-mobile I cannot help but think what a terrible parent I am. How can anyone respect me? Why has the Fearless O'Toole not turned me in to Social Services for mistreatment of my minions? Life is bleak. On the drive home, I manage to pull myself together. The Allergist may have mind-numbing powers of guilt-infliction, but I am my own person. I have not treated my minions so badly. Yes, perhaps I'll have to make a few changes. I had been meaning to re-upholster the basement couch sometime, anway. I won't ask my friends to go through strict decontamination proceedings for fear that they will simply stop visiting... but maybe I can change the carpets for hardwood in some places. We were thinking about changing them at the 10-yr mark anyways and that's only a couple years away. Maybe we'll implement the change a little earlier. And I can honestly try to vaccuum more often. Now, how will I explain this all to my partner in crime, and co-creator of the minions? Perhaps I can just point him towards my weblog, so he'll understand the trauma I went through while he was battling the forces of evil in Calgary. |
| Mon, Feb 14, 2005 (12:50pm) Nothing says "I Love You" (and I don't want you to die) Like an Epi-Pen. Connor's allergist appointment went well. He, like Kalen, appears to be deathly allergic to peanuts. Good thing we've already got him in a peanut-free school. Also a good thing I wasn't asking for flowers or jewelry for Squishy-Mushy-Sentiment Day, 'cuz frak but those Epi-Pens are expensive! |
| Sun, Feb 13, 2005 (11:50pm) Jasen, after spending 3 days in the hospital (with RSV) has been discharged. He is still not doing 100% (we have him on ventolin and corticosteroid treatments to keep the inflammation in his lungs down, so he can breathe) but he's considerably better than he was on Thursday when I brought him to ER. He's also perilously cute, by the by. And as an addendum to my comments-related post of Saturday... any comments made between Feb 1st and Feb 12th have been lost to the electronic void. I'm sorry, Freenet is completley down and I can't recover anything from the mailbox there. Thanks to anyone who might have commented, however. Gotta crash, now. Tomorrow's agenda includes: taking Connor to his allergist appointment, giving Jasen lots of love & nebulizer treatments, helping Kalen write her name on a dozen Valentines cards (which Starlin' was thoughtful enough to pick up for me), and finally getting some time to hang out with the girls in the evening as we all go to watch The Vagina Monologues at Myer Horowitz theater. Shades will be out of town for the next couple days, so I intend to relish those hours of freedom. Safe travels, m'love! |
| Sat, Feb 12, 2005 (11:30pm) Well, Frak. I thought that was weird. No one sent me any comments in the last week. Last two weeks, in fact. Now, I'm not the sort who absolutely must have external reinforcement ofthe validity of my opinions or anything, but I'll usually get four or five comments as week, and I know people would have replied about the Connor thing... but nothing. So much nothing that something had to be wrong. So I checked my QuickComment.cgi, and discovered that it is set to email comments to my Freenet account. Specifically, to my Freenet account which is now dead. Since Freenet went bankrupt earlier this month, I've been getting spotty email access. I finally just re-routed all my aliased mail (all my shades-of-night.com addies were actually aliases - they were rerouted to my freenet account) to deliver to a POP box instead, and have my mail program pick it up from there. That's been working fine. Or so I thought. Now that I've realized the problem, I've corrected it. My apologies for not responding to (or reading) any inspiring and/or inspired comments which you may have sent. I wasn't ignoring you. I was just stupid. It's been a busy week, ya know. |
| Fri, Feb 11, 2005 (2:50pm) Having moved all my old apps and documents over to my new Mac Mini, I set about rearranging them to my liking, deleting unused stuff, filing tidbits, and clicking on a few random items 'cuz I couldn't remember what they were. Amidst the lot of this, I came across a demo game called 'Spaceward Ho!' which Wally tossed on my Mac several years ago. I didn't play it at the time, but felt I should give it a quick go before deleting it forever. 2 1/2 hours later, I decided that I might like it enough to keep it around. 4 hours (and 2 games) later, I was wondering where to get an upgrade to the non-Demo. Oooh, but it's an addictive little game! Kinda like a full-color version of VGAP, though you don't get any special 'racial' powers. Just planets to explore, ships to build, and a galaxy to conquer. Plus, it gives you AI's to play against, so you don't need to coerce other players to hurry up and submit their turns before you can get your fix. I see this being a bit of a time drain in my near future. Lest you come away from this with the idea that all I do all day is play on the computer, I thought I'd give a quick update on the other events and individuals in my life:
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| Tues, Feb 8, 2005 (11:55pm) This is my first weblog entry on my new keyboard, attatched to my new Mac Mini, with an updated version of Adobe GoLive. The world looks a little different, but I think I'll adjust. Maybe I'll even go so far as to consider liking it. The Glenrose appointments have been going well. Lots to say on that, but I don't have the time or mental capacity right now. Basically, we seem to be on the right track. Many professionals tell me I've been doing a great job, with very "inutitive home programming" and that the con-man is lucky to have a Mother who's got it so together. Ahahahhahah. Well, we'll let them have their little delusions, okay? Tomorrow is the 'Family Conference' where Shades and I will meet with all the professionals who've seen Connor in the last few days, and hopfeully get a diagnosis (yes, it looks like Autistic Spectrum Disorder so far, but they won't say it officially 'til they confer. They get paid lots of money to "confer" and I wouldn't want to take that away from them. No, really - it may sound sarcastic, but I mean it. When ya put a whole bunch of professionals in the same place, speaking the same language, on the same topic, they can come up with really great stuff.) From there, we'll be given ideas about where to take his programming, how to apply for various types of funding, and which support groups/agencies may be the most help to us (Did you know they have respite care available for special needs kids?) And hopefully, I can be referred to a doctor or some specialist who knows more about autism, so I'm not as dependant on the 'Net for my information needs. One last thing, on the Connor front: He did the most amazing thing (for him) at the interview today. After the doctor had examined him, and he'd played with the toys, and jumped through the hoops, he wanted to go home. We were all talking with the doctor, however, and not getting his subtle hints that he was ready to leave. so he took me by the hand and lead me to the door (he's never taken me by the hand to bring me anywhere or show me anything, ever before). Then he left me at the office door, and went to the corner of the room to get the stroller. He dragged the stroller in the direction of the door, and climbed in. There was no question that he was saying, "Mom, we're done here. You and I are going to leave, now. Here, you open the door, I'll get into the stroller, and you can take me back home." (Since I wasn't done the appointment with the doctor yet, Starlin' took Connor out to stroll the halls while we chatted. But hey - GREAT Communication!!!) I'm all happy. |
| Fri, Feb 4, 2005 (3:40pm) Gonna get my Geek On I've decided I'm gonna buy a Mac Mini. Probably a new keyboard, while I'm at it, as I've been suffering problems ever since the Hot Chocolate Incident of '03. I've been thinking about it for a while, and it has passed my acid-test (which is to say, I really, really, wanted one, so I didn't think about it for a week, and I still really, really want one. Usually I get distracted and really really want something else by the next day, or the day after. For something to stick in my flighty mind for a week means it'll still be there in a month, or two months, or a year.) And at the moment, I think I can even afford it. So, barring Shades coming home and pointing out some major flaw in my financial logic, or demonstrating some greater need to get his own geek on, I believe I'll draft Wally and make a trip down to WestWorld tonight. - - - BTW - added Thoughts from the Dark to my weblog links bar. |
| Wed, Feb 2, 2005 (11:05am) Ah, yeah... sorry about that last entry. It's what happens when I'm on ibuprofen. Most painkillers don't do much for me (T3s, Codeine, even Morphine) but toss two ibuprofen into me, and I can deal with wisdom tooth surgery, or broken bones. It can even avert a migraine if I take it early enough. Of course, after having 2 ibuprofen I can't drive, or operate heavy machinery. Luckily, there is little heavy machinery in my life at present. Life continues to be busy, so I thought I'd post a warning of impending lollybloggery: February is going to be one of my busiest months in the last few years. I'll update my weblog if I get the opportunity, but if the whole month goes by without a single post, I won't feel bad about it. March should be back to normal again, I hope. - - - Jasen can walk!! He took 3 unsupported steps a couple days ago, and more yesterday. His primary mode of locomotion is still crawling, but I think it won't be long before he's as mobile as the other kids. - - - The Connor Report - Month in review Connor continues to grow and learn. This is good. Some days progress is frustratingly slow, but we're still working on it. Other days, he makes leaps and bounds, and that's very encouraging. He'll say 3 - 12 words/day, sometimes spontaneous, sometimes coached. He's also making a lot more 'word approximations', where you'll say 'Swing!' and he'll say 'Ssu.' It's obvious that he's listening, and copying. His vocab keeps expanding. During the month of January, he said these words: Juice, No, No-no, Bye-bye, Hello, Night-night, Hi, Hey! (repeated back and forth with Kalen), Whoops, Wheee!, TaDa!, Daddy, Kalen, Jasen, Al-ti! (for Uncle Hjalti), Shake, shake!, Street, Car, Up, Down, All done, Swing, Ride, Okay, Again! (many, many times), Go, Stop, Yes (nodded, in answer to a question), Yes (spoken!), Clock, Not-a-Toy! (when I took the scissors away from him), Chip, Gotcha!, ToTheVan! (said quickly, all one word, when we entered the garage), Tickle, Play (signed), Wall, Drink, Onion (at the grocery store), Nose, Eyes, Nice (while nodding to himself, looking at a painting he was doing), Baby (signed), Round-and-round (as in, 'The wheels on the bus go round-and-round'). His receptive communication is also growing by leaps and bounds. It's much harder to measure how much he understands (he can't answer a question like 'Do you understand me?', and he won't follow simple instructions like 'Give this to Daddy') but sometimes he will make it obvious that he's just understood you. For example, you might say 'Do you want juice?' and he'll go to the fridge. Or you can say 'Sit down' and he'll sit. Not all the time, but often enough that he obviously understood. He picks up his name out of casual conversation, now. If you're talking about him, he'll sometimes look at you, or get very quiet and listen. I don't know how much he gets, but he's trying to make sense of it, and that's the important part. If he keeps paying attention, eventually, it will click. Eye contact is increasing all the time. He can keep eye contact for 30 - 60 seconds at a time, under the right conditions. He will make eye contact with just about anyone who puts some effort into catching his gaze. Usually the glance is only 1 - 3 seconds long, but it's not as much work to get those few seconds as it used to be. He'll make eye contact several times in a conversation. We're continuing to work on joint attention, and also turn-taking. I don't see a lot of progress, but then we didn't see much improvement at the beginning of our other projects, either. We'll keep trying. We're also trying to incorporate 'Giggle games' into his routine. The book Giggle Time by Susan Aud Saunders is our current guide for work on increasing social interaction and communication skills. Last month I mentioned that Connor has been doing better about managing his own clothes - even getting his diaper off, once - well, he's gotten it off a few more times, since. He can get completely undressed when he wants to. It takes time, but it's possible. He's still working at getting clothes on (I have to put the shirt over his head for him) but he's getting quicker at putting arms into sleeves, and pulling the shirt straight after. He can also hang up his own coat if you put it in his hands and point him towards the coat hooks. I hope he continues to improve in this department, because it would be nice, someday, to be able to say, "Connor, time to get dressed!" show him his clothes, and let him do the rest. Let's see... what other cool things to say? Well, Connor actually played 'pretend' with us, at one point. Kalen and Connor and I were on Kale's bed, and she handed out pretend food for all of us to eat. She then held her cupped hands to her mouth and made eating noises. I did the same. Then I offered Connor my cupped hands, and he put his face into them and pretended to eat! This is great!! Autistic kids have a very hard time with pretend play. Autistic kids, however, tend to be very good at sorting and organizing. So it's not surprising that Connor was able to help us with cleaning up his room a couple weeks ago. We had a big mess of blocks, foam letters, and Lego in the middle of the room. We would give Connor an object out of the pile, and he could bring it to the appropriate place to put it away: blocks into the dump-truck, Lego into the Lego tub, and foam letters into the other tub. He didn't need to be reminded to keep working, he just kept at it until we'd cleaned the whole room. Man, there are 5 year-olds who haven't mastered that skill! (And teenagers, too, but that's another story). Connor's got a 3-day appointment at the Glenrose this February (Mon-Tues-Wed, the 7th-8th-9th) for Preschool Assessment. When we're done that intensive program, they should be able to give us a diagnosis, and suggest where we can go from here. My guess is that they'll say he's Autistic, and to keep doing what we're doing. That's okay, though, what we're doing seems to be working. |