Atropa Belladonna~ Raven (a.k.a. Nightshade)'s Weblog ~
These are the ARCHIVES of March 2005. For more archives, visit the Archives page. For the current Weblog entries, check the Main page.
Atropa Belladonna| Thurs, March 31, 2005 (10:25am) The Intrepid Shapiro vs. The Mistress of Pain Some days, it's hard being a SuperHero. Like those days when your best friend is taken over by some terrible alter-ego and decides to use her powers for evil. What do you do? You wanna be supportive, right? It's not like your friend is inherently a bad person. Just temporarily misguided. You can't let a person in this condition go rampaging unchecked across the city, 'cuz you just know some young upstart will take down your friend in the name of justice, and then you'll have to bail 'em out of Arkham once the alter ego recedes and their generally sweet nature reasserts itself. So I did what any SuperHero would do - I threw myself in harm's way, and let her take out her pent-up frustrations on me. (Oh, and on Super Slave, who's just a sucker for punishment anyways.) We allowed The Mistress of Pain to lure us into her secret lair, filled with all sorts of heinous torture equipment, and proceded to spend the next hour and a half bending to her whim, while she tormented us with false promises of warmth and relaxation when the agony was over. The physical agony was punishment enough, but more crushing yet were the blows to my ego. Admittedly, the Mistress of Pain is renowned for her buffness, and Super Slave (having endured years of such torment under many harsh masters) had built up considerable capacity for punishment, but I had to suffer humiliation on every As the evening wore on, it became apparent that the Mistress of Pain had saved the most vile torture for last: chin-ups. The victim must perform the selected torture as many times as possible, to the best of their ability, and when they can go on no longer, they are given assistance (in the form of helping hands lifting them) to complete as many more as they can before admitting to failure. Super Slave performed remarkable well, considering that he was lifting twice the weight that I was. However, I bested him in this final challenge, being able to do more than double the number of unassisted chin ups, and double the number of assisted one. And here, the Mistress of Pain's fatal flaw became apparent: despite her world-renowned buffness, she herself was unable to do even a singe chin-up unassisted. With help, she managed one. Just one!! And I had done several. Woohoo! This means I WIN! Today, I pay for last night's episode triple-fold. Oh, oh, oh... the agony. But I can not let that hold me back. There's still much to do: evil has just reared its ugly head again in the form of the baby breaking a glass on the kitchen floor. I must respond to this latest crisis before innocent blood is spilled. |
| Tues, March 29, 2005 (2:10pm) Somedays, everything goes wrong. And somedays, things go right. Like this morning, while I was desperately tidying the house and trying to get the kids dressed & breakfasted & cleaned up because I had an Intake Appointment for 9:30am and i wanted things to be at least halfway presentable... I happened to glance at the calendar, and realized the appointment was for 2:30pm, not 9:30. Whew. Lots of time to get ready, then. And I managed to catch both boys' diapers just when they needed changing, and not after the evidence had been smeared on hands/clothing/furniture. Then, while I was getting lunch ready, I saw some leftovers in the fridge which needed to be thrown out. S I thought, "I'd better make sure to deal with that, before garbage day." Only then did I realize that TODAY is garbage day!!! The long weekend threw off the regular schedule, and I'd completely forgotten to check. Too late, though - garbage gets picked up around noon, and it was nearly 1pm. I checked the pick-up calendar on the fridge, just in case the long weekend had bumped the pick-up by two days instead of one... but no, it was today. And it was also a designated "Large Item Pick-up Day". Not that it matters to me, since I've just got the normal garbage.... but the pick-up goes a lot slower on those days. I ran to the front door to check - They hadn't come yet!!! So I dashed madly around and collected the garbage, and the leftovers from the fridge, and managed to get it to the curb before the trucks came by. Okay, so I didn't win the lottery today or anything, but think the day is going as well as, or better than, could be expected. And I'll take my victories where I can get 'em. |
| Fri, March 25, 2005 (8:45am) Shades, on the topic of Highlander (snipped from his weblog): I've got a soft spot for modern fantasy with swords AND a soft spot for Adrian Paul. If I swung that way, I'd totally stalk him. Except that he'd kick my ass. Ya see that? The guy who wrote that - Well, that's the guy I married. Yay me. |
| Thurs, March 24, 2005 (10:05am) All the Makings of a SuperVillian I checked on Kalen this morning, after hearing a suspicious amount of silence from her room. Her lights were on, but she was in bed, completely covered by comforters. This did not cause me much concern as she'd been up late last night, and got up pretty tired this morning. She must have crawled back into bed and fallen asleep. So, with an envious sigh, I closed her bedroom door and let her sleep. I got a lot of stuff done, having only the two boys to watch: cleaned up breakfast, loaded & ran the dishwasher, swept the floor, made a couple phone calls, answered some email, and started checking my weblogs. Kalen appeared at my elbow somewhere during that time. She just stood there, very quietly, waiting. "Okay... What have you been up to?" I asked her angelic little face. She responded with the matching angelic "Oh... nothing." and a sweet, sweet smile. I stood, and took her hand. "Alright then, let's see this 'nothing' you've been up to." She quietly acquiesced, and led me to her bedroom. There, in the middle of the bed, was the pile of comforters which she'd been snuggled under, earlier. And, just peeking out from the corner of a blanket fold, was a glint of tupperware. I threw back the covers to reveal an open container... of fudge. "Kalen, daughter dearest... what is that fudge doing in your bed?" She smiled smugly. "I snuck the fudge from off the counter, and I hid it in my bed. But then I also snuck the wash cloth from the kitchen. See? I wiped my face clean so you couldn't tell I was eating the fudge. No mess! But the washcloth was wet, and I didn't want to leave wet spots in the bed, so I used the lid of the tupperware to put the cloth on, see (she pulls more blanket back to reveal a cleverly concealed cloth, sitting in a tupperware lid). And I pulled the blankets over me, so when you came to check, you couldn't see I was being naughty. And then I pretended I was sleeping. And I was very quiet. And you didn't know what I was up to, did you? I was verrrrry sneaky." "Yes, Kalen, you were. Very clever and sneaky indeed. But you've succumbed to the greatest folly of all: the Supervillian Monologue. You've revealed your dastardly plan, and thus sealed your doom." Kalen looks shocked, as if she had never expected that revealing her brilliance could result in defeat. "You're busted, kid. Give up the fudge." So, she sighed dramatically and passed me the tupperware box. I pretended not to notice as she yoinked a tiny square of fudge while surrendering her ill-gotten treasure. (Her slight-of-hand needs some work, but at least she's practicing.) I put the fudge away, and returned to my computer. Now, some parents would berate me for letting her get away with this. There was no punishment, no harsh words, not even a warning that it had better not happen again. And by letting her sneak that last piece of fudge, I'm actually encouraging this behaviour. I will pay for it in the future. Yeah, I will. I know that. Letting her think she can get away with stuff is bad. But if she's willing to think ahead, overcome potential obstacles, and clean up her own mess when she does make mischief, I can deal with that. The way I see it, I have no control over whether or not she will misbehave. Kids test their parents - that just the way it is. But if I can steer her in the direction of intelligent misbehaviour, and responsibility for her actions, then I'm ahead of the game on at least two counts. Three counts, since I'm getting some more interuption-free computer time while she secretly eats that last bit of fudge. And hey, if she grows up to be a supervillian because of my mis-parenting, at least we'll be able to defeat her while she delivers her Evil Monologue. |
| Wed, March 23, 2005 (4:55pm) Well, That was Close. Connor came home from school today - the last day before Easter Break - with a bag of treats. It included bunny stickers, a yellow duckie whistle, and some generic chocolate Easter eggs. Since Milk Chocolate is not currently on his dietary allowables list (we're back to a stricter diet while he's sick) I told Kalen she could eat them instead. We waited until after Connor was down for his nap before getting them out. Modelling good behaviour, I told her that we must always be very careful to check that these chocolates had no nuts or peanut butter in them, so we unwrapped them together and checked carefully. There were no ingredients listed on the shiny foil wrapper, of course. But they looked like pretty much any other generic chocolate Easter treat. So I bit into one. And bit right into a creamy peanut butter center. Brilliant. Well, I spat out the chocolate, and we threw out the lot of them. And thus, I saved Kalen (and Connor, potentially) from peanut flavoured death. - - - As a note, yes I am allergic to peanuts myself. But for me, it's a mild allergy - not anaphylactic. I suspect I'll have an itchy tongue by this evening. Other nuts (true nuts / tree nuts) can kill me, so it was still pretty stupid to bite into an unknown chocolate... just in case there'd been an almond in the center, or something. I've done it before, though. (Note to self: break myself of this habit before the kids pick it up!) I have a very, very fast reaction to nuts, so I can tell the moment I've bitten one that I've done something wrong, and I have time to spit it out. My tongue will hurt, and my mouth wants to be scrubbed with steel wool, and I'll get bloody itchy, but as long as I don't swallow it, I won't die. At least, I haven't yet. |
| Tues, March 22, 2005 (11:10am) Wow, I've been on a productive run, recently. Lots of energy. Life is happening, instead of mere Existance. I'm freaking tired, and sometimes want to bash my head against a wall, but it's a good kind of bashing - the kind you get when there's a goal, and you aren't meeting it, but you want to. It gives ya energy to keep going. Of course, the fatigue is in part from staying up too late working on stuff, or hanging with friends. Last night, we had a wicked cool Seventh Sea game... the kind that hearken back to the good old days of D&D, when you're exploring a dungeon and you know it's past 1am, but you just can't stop now 'cuz you're so close! Devious traps, challenging combat against villians which aren't run-of-the-mill, and situations which make you have to think. Mmmm, good crack. Just wanted to post a few quick things before abandonning my computer in favor of a screaming baby: Lazarus can whistle as well as he can sing! (Mmm, I'm a sucker for a guy who can not just carry a tune, but make it soar.) Jeff is a nasty DM. Jasen has a molar! His lower left molar came in! So that's what all the biting has been about, lately! Connor helped me empty the dishwasher yesterday. he saw me taking cups and mugs out, and began taking them out himself to pass them to me, so I could put them into the cupboards. What a cool kid. Now, if only we could get him to eat, properly, so the Dr. isn't worried about whether he's getting enough iron in his diet. He's been really pale, lately. The allergen-infested couch and chairs are scheduled for re-upholstery in early April. I hope to be looking at hardwood floors in the near future, too. Shades is an awesome, wonderful, amazing, adjective-defying person. He puts up with a lot from me, and actually seems to enjoy it, most of the time. You rock my world, babe. Weird - got a call just now from a neighbor up the street who says a package from Ontario, addressed to Raven, has arrived mistakenly on their doorstep. Maybe I'll see if I can pick it up on the way to get the kids from school. Gotta dash. |
| Wed, March 16, 2005 (9:40am) Ah.... today feels wonderful. Check out that snow outside! I'm not a big fan of snow per se, but I do love what a good snowfall does for the air quality. The last couple weeks have been miserable, with all the dust and snow mold blowing around, and all the road gunge and last falls' dead leaves, and everything else that decomposes over the winter, ready to turn into nasty airborne allergen particles in the spring. I'm sure its a major contributing factor to my poor health of late - I'm pretty vulnerable to repiratory infections until the major road clean-up gets launched in the spring (you know, that week when big street-sweeper trucks plod slowly down the road, blocking traffic and gathering all the sand and grit to re-use next winter? That is just hellish on me. But when it's done,the world is a better place). Today, however, I breathe easy. Aaaaah, sweet oxygen. So, some random stuff: RavenBlack tells me those dolls (linked in previous post) run approximately $1100 Canadian each (prior to taxes & shipping, of course). Good thing I hadn't actually been contemplating acquisition, or anything. Yoiks. A good friend of mine in Vancouver sent me a cool link: Gaming with Digital Map Projection. Man - I want a DM like that! (not like I have time for another game in my life, but if I did...) Wally, I need more RAM. Running GoLive and Safari simultaneously makes things noticably slow. Running Spaceward Ho at the same time causes 10-second lags between click & response. Grrr. Tomorrow I've got an Intake Appointment scheduled, to get us listed with Family Support For Children with Disabilities. From there, I can start planning Connor's schedule for the summer. (I'll admit I'm kinda scared about what to do when school gets out. He's been doing so good in his REACH classroom, and I don't want to have the burden of doing all his therapy dumped on me again.) Well, I should probably get back to domestic duty, now. I got into a good productivity swing yesterday - swept the front porch, met with a lady about reupholstering the 'doggy' furniture, got the hole in our kitchen drywall patched, ran laundry, got Kalen ready for her Playschool field trip to the Winspear Center, made supper, bathed three kids, organized my Autism references and brochures, dusted our bedroom bookshelves (no small task when you've got over 100 feet of books, plus assorted knicknacks all over), and designed a monthly chore-chart for work, all while taking care of 3 kids, including a sick and screaming toddler. I don't expect the same level of productivity today, but if I can just keep things from slipping back into chaos, I'll be doing okay. |
| Sun, March 13, 2005 (11:35pm) Mmmm... wandering around the web, followed a link from Maikeru's page to Volk's Super Dollfie page. Volks is a Japanese company, which appears to make amazing dolls, catering to the anime and goth subculture. (I've provided the English link, but it's still kinda hard to navigate their site. Their translation skills aren't the best, either - they have a side menu which says things like 'Grass Eye' when they mean 'Glass eyes'.) Not like I have the kind of cash to spend on these, but check out the links to some of their dolls! - - - A Connor Report Kalen regularly takes her brother's hand and drags him around the house (willing or no). When he's laughing and having fun, we encourage this (sibling bonding, yay!) but when Connor is upset or pulling away, it's hard to get Kale to understand that the Con-man doesn't necessarily want to play her games anymore. So the other day, Kalen was pulling him around and ignoring his protests again, and I pointed out, "Connor is whining and pulling away, Kalen. That's his way of saying, 'No!' He doesn't want to play this game right now." And Connor said, "No." and again, emphatically, "No!" |
| Thurs, March 10, 2005 (3:25pm) Shades: Aaaugh! My foot! Me: What?? Oh, my bloody... What happened?!? Your ankle is lacerated on both sides and (holding firmly) shit! I think the bone's broken, too. Auugh, I can see severed tendons. This is bad. We need to get you to a hospital. Shades: Okay. I'll drive. Me: You can't drive! Your foot's been nearly torn clean off! Shades: Yeah, but I'm in shock so it doesn't hurt. And besides, you'd rather have me as the driver for the car chase scene. The evil landlords are still chasing us, remember? And they've got Tommy guns. Me: Oh. Good point. Raven hands over the keys, and thus begins a wild car chase spanning several city blocks, a mall food court, the roof of a downtown office tower, and finally the Nanaimo ferry. - - - Man, I have truly bizarre dreams. |
| Wed, March 9, 2005 (5:05pm) A Connor Report Connor is wearing socks. This is not unusual nor unexpected, since I put socks on him this morning. He can take them off, but doesn't do so very often. But they were Kalen's socks! This means that he took his own off, found a pair of hers, and manged to get them on his own feet, all by himself. This bodes well. I would really like it, someday, to be able to say, "Here's today's clothes, Connor. Time to get dressed!" and reasonably expect him to do so. |
| Tues, March 8, 2005 (6:05pm) Putting it Off Everyone knows people like this: individuals who can put off major ailments or disease until after the current crisis has been dealt with. Many people have done it themselves in the past... like when you really, really need to get that paper due, you just don't have time for a cold. So you put up with a sniffle for a week until the project is handed in, and then come down with a major bout of sinusitis. University students often force themselves to go on, and then spend reading week sick. Some employees manage to get sick only on their days off. I'm one of those people. February was one major event after another, but somehow I got through all the appointments and hospital visits and sick kids and everything. I just had to. Now that the crisis is over, my body has time to rebel. I came down with fever, Wednesday, and shivered through the night. Thursday I felt miserable, and got through the day only with the help of ibuprofen. Friday I had to call my Mom to watch the kids so I could go the doctor. He diagnosed me with Strep Throat. Saturday I found someone to cover my shift, and spent the day recovering. Sunday I was feeling so-so, but survived my work shift and decided to go to Pixie's birthday party in the evening. Despite the fabulous job which Cori had done of cleaning the house, I was feeling very sniffly after 2 hours in the same residence as a cat. I remained a little longer to finish a game of Catan (which I won. Yay!) and then made my farewells. By Monday I realized my weakened immune system had turned the allergic congestion into full-blown sinusitis. Luckily, I'm already/still on antibiotics from the Strep Throat, so at least its not another Dr.'s visit. I guess I'll be blowing my nose for a few days, and trying to treat myself better. More sleep would be a good start. More food (I lost most of the 5 pounds I'd gained since Christmas. Grrr.) Less stress, too. I wonder I Shades minds if I upgrade our Spaceward Ho! game from demo to registered status. It's a very good stress-reducer. Mmmm, and maybe I'll have an old friend over to watch DVDs tonight, and see if I can beg a backrub, too. That would be good. |
| Thurs, March 3, 2005 (5:50pm) The Connor Report - Month in Review Yet again, the month-in-review is late. Deal. What shall I say about February other than I hope not to experience the likes of it again? Many good things happened - we got Connor's official diagnosis of Autism - but the month was such a mess of meetings and hospital visits and doctor's appointments, complicated by the fact that I was effectively a single mother for a third of the month while Shades was away for work stuff. Gah. But I survived, and so did the kids. Due to the stress of the month, Connor's home Therapy (a.k.a. Connor Time) has completely fallen apart. I've done bits of work with him scattered thru the day(s), and even did Sensory Integration Friday once (we filled the bath as full as we could and played water games), but nothing regular or organized. Perhaps because of this, I haven't seen much increase in eye contact from Connor. In fact, it feels like less than before. Maybe that's just 'cuz I haven't had the time to stop and notice it, tho. His vocabulary is doing great, though. This month he has said: Mama, Kalen, Jasen, Kristy, 'Spi' (for spider), Hi, Hello, Hey, Hey, Bye-Bye, Night, Good night, Sleep tight, Yes (signed with nodding), Yes (spoken), No (signed with head-shaking), No (spoken), Ow! (after hitting himself on the head), Whoops!, Uh-oh!, TaDa!, Whoa!, Up, Down, Out, Go, Stop, Home, Kiss, Hug, Hush!, Meow, Quack, Ee, ee! (for monkey sounds), Woof, woof, Raaaaar! (for a dinosaur), Juice, Arm, Tissue, Nice, All Done! (very clearly and in context), Want chips, More (signed), More Tickle ('mo tika'), Stand up! (when he saw the BED standing on its side), Good Boy, Up please (echoed when I said 'put the sugar back up, please'), Swing, Dip, dip, dip!, Two! (after I started 'One...'), One, two, three (while bringing me the spandex to request a swing game), Thankyou, Put, Come-on-out (echoed when I asked him to come on out of the tub), Hat, Home Mom! (echoed with feeling when I asked 'Are you over-stimulated? Is this your way of saying 'Home, Mom!'), Slide, Boots, Hush! (reading Goodnight Moon), Slippery ('ippery', for Jello), and Poop. BTW - this is the last time I'm posting a month's worth of vocab. He's saying a new word (or two, or three) just about every day now, so it takes too much effort to record them all. On an average day, he's saying 5 - 20 words, total. The coolest thing with his vocabulary is that it's beginning to include more word combinations. things like 'One, two, three' or 'More tickle' or 'Home Mom'. Sometimes he even answers questions verbally ('Connor, do you want a bath?' - 'Yes! Es!') which shows he's not just echoing, he's actually gaining RECEPTIVE language skills (he's hearing and listening and understanding. Not all the time, but it's there!) Other great things this month: Connor is using utensils more often - he'll eat Rice Crispies cereal with a spoon, and stab his pancakes with a fork. You need to remind him, and sometimes help him do the first couple bites, but he's picking up the skills. AND, he drank from a glass! Just once, but hey - it happened. We've been giving him all his fluids in a sippy cup because he refuses to use a cup or glass (he just pours it over - won't let it near his face) but one time he picked up Kalen's glass with chocolate milk (a no-no since he's not supposed to have milk or chocolate) and he DRANK from it. I was so amazed that I broke the rules and poured him some more chocolate milk. He drank another ounce or so, before abandonning the table. Speaking of milk, Shades and I have been tweaking Connor's diet some more. Originally, we took milk out of his diet and reduced the gluten. It seemed to help, so we took all dairy and all gluten out, and within the month there were obvious improvements in skin condition, temperament, and alertness. We've been keeping him on a casein-free, gluten-free diet for the last half year. Recently we've been letting a bit of dairy back in. Still no gluten, but occasional bits of cheese, or mashed potatoes made with milk, or even sips of milk. The results aren't too clear. One weekend he had dairy and no problems. Another weekend he had dairy and got bad diarrhea... but that might have been from other factors (flu? snuck a gluten-filled cookie? chocolate?) We'll probably play around with it more in March. If Connor can have dairy, it opens up a vast quantity of potential food choices. Well worth the dietary tweaking. One other major thing this month: Connor's been asking for stuff. He'll reach out to grown-ups, take them by the hand, and lead them to something of interest (a book to read, or a game to play). He took both Shades' and my hands simultaneously last weekend to request a swinging game (where each of us takes a couple limbs, and swing him between us). He has grabbed my hands and started bouncing in a circle mumbling 'inga-ounda-osie!' And to wrap this up, a couple things which have happened in the last week, to show that he's making some serious connections in that autistic brain of his: - When Shades was changing the baby's diaper, he dropped the used one on the floor (all rolled up, thanks) and it landed in Connor's way. He stopped what he was doing, picked up the diaper, brought it to the bathroom, threw it in the garbage, and then returned to what he was doing! - Connor was watching a video where one of the characters says, "Ready!" and Connor echoed "Eddy!" Shades heard him and asked, "Ready?" Connor repeated "Eddy!" Smiling, Shades said, "That's right Connor, she said Ready!" and Connor repeated "See seh eddy!" There are still days when I feel very frustrated, but moments like those give me a lot of confidence for the future. |